jebus

two things got my blood running this week:

1. the david/victoria beckham photos for w magazine
oh my god, they are so hot can die man
besides the fact that his ass looks damn hot in tighty whiteys
... they both just look damn good
no wonder she didnt dump his ass
i wouldnt want to dump that piece of arm candy either
and even though they aren't textbook good looking
they are somehow really quite attractive

2. bruce willis in diehard4
he just looks damn good for his age man
i mean, seriously....richard gere cannot compete
and i know im going to get hammered for this
but neither can sean connery -_-
you should see the photos of him in vanity fair
of him in a sarong and a fedora
jebus
and another one of him just fishing
whilst demi is on ashton's lap next to him
and he doesnt seem like he could give a fuck
class i tell you
i would put up the photos, but i only have the magazine
and if i scanned them in, i'll probably be sued for unrightful distribution

ive been supremely bored at work
there is nothing going on
to the extent where i dread getting up
cos i know im going to work, to be faced with...nothing
bah
pher is back from shanghai
and didnt bring back a bride
ah well, our expectations for that happening werent that high

smalleyes completed the hanoi video
which she is trying unsuccessfully to load onto her website
its basically 20 minutes of rammers, smalleyes and i doing downright stupid things
and saying even stupider things
i hope this video wont come back to haunt us
especially the karaoke to vietnamese folk song bit
-_-
dammit

and to top off a damn unproductive week
ive turned into a facebook whore
sue me - im merely playing in to the hands of the internet gods
im not worthy im not worthy im not worthy

xL

blase and burnt

got back from redang yesterday
and it was bliss
i hung out with nemo whilst scuba diving
and jumped off the boat whilst snorkelling
the food stank but the blue waters made up for it
not as 'shiok' as hanoi but it did the job :D

decided with rosebud on the trip
that maybe i wont do my masters next year
altho she eagerly wants me to be gone when small eyes goes
something about good influence and grounding
-_-
sure or not?
she just doesnt know about the miss china incidents

so ive decided to backpack this time next year in europe
summer 08
and ive already planned to be in germany in july for the love parade
and valencia at the end of august for the tomato fest
and of course netherlands in between for lea :)
and switzerland to see the kindest soul born on the same day as me
and morocco to see what kind of happiness they have to offer
and croatia to lie on their part of the adriatic coast
and monaco just to see all her unadulterated wealth on display
and belgium for her chocolates
and helsinki just to say that ive been there
and there will be a few more stops in between portugal, ireland, greece!
and of course, to salute the spanish sun in barcelona with 1 euro bottles of cava

im crossing my fingers that this will pull through
as much of my impending happiness lies upon this
cos god damn, this is the only thing pulling me through at the moment
the dog hotel will just have to wait as rose wants me to do this
before i have to settle in kl and commit....jesus christ

its july now, i have 10 months to save and 10 months to plan
jesus
im seriously ambitious

xL

a pinch and a punch

my life has been mundane since hanoi
nothing fab has happened
the only exciting thing was that i went to the doctor
after 4 days of diarrhoea and 2 days of a splitting migraine
he told me that i could possibly have a mild case of cholera
whatever 3rd world disease that is la
im better now so you can stop worrying :D

work has been crazy slow
which is good cos all we have been doing is watching dvds
and going on super long lunches that last 3.5 hours
we're going to try to break that record tomorrow and make it 4

i finally got my own parking spot
im super lucky cos i was there when my production manager decided he didnt want it
and i was jumping up and down like a buffoon crying that i wanted it
so now i have it, RM550 later
noice

im off to redang this weekend at rosebud's weak attempt of family bonding
yaya sun&sea :)
i appreciate it, i just dont appreciate the thing i have to go with
some may call her my sister
but as far as im concerned, she's the thing
until further notice of when i decide to personalise it

cigarette prices are up by 60sens
it may be fine time i quit
but then i think...
damn it L, you paid almost $10 in melbourne
what is 8 ringgit?
its times like this, i should stop talking to myself

i was on MC at home yesterday and i have to say...
it was the most deathly boring day of my life
there is only so much tv you can watch
and the computer screen gives me migraines
so i sat there.....
for a good 6 hours
watching mindless astro
from e to axn to hbo to mtv to star
warrrggghhhhh

the only good thing i learned was after watching david blaine's drowned alive
was to never attempt to submerge yourself in water for 7 days
as the skin on your hands and feet get super ugly man
ew
i guess i'll be scrapping that off my things to do before 30 list

so thats it
my life is officially mundane and boring and routined
maybe this is what life is supposed to be like if you're not working on a campaign
i have to say, after 3 months working my ass off every single day
when it stops
i feel unproductive and purposeless

wargh

i may be a workaholic
0_0

xL

:D

it was crazy fun
i dont think ive felt this fab in such a long time
and it was so satisfying
because it seemed to have fulfilled a few things
that were kinda missing
and just needed that little top up :D
so i was def most happy

so we managed to...
eat pho but rammers and i still cant pronounce it
sleep with 8 other people in a dorm
shower every day cos.we.were.stanky.and.sticky :D loved that
get cultured when hanging out with uncle ho at the museum
get clothes made
watch the water puppets
get cheated and abused by an angry cab driving motherfuckingso&so
meet great people :D much love for them
see halong bay and revel in her beauty and her silence
jump off a junk boat
karaoke-d destroying halong's silence ;) OBLADI OBLADAAAA
have an australian sausage sizzle!
concede that the luxe guide has bad energy
*interlude - have a good time!*
eat fanny ice cream
eat bun cha - which was the most amazing dish ever - sigh
meet T.R.O.U.N.G - hellloooo troung
kayak - smalleyes and i 'relaxed' therefore being the slowest ones there and back
persuade miss china out of seclusion
see a real life beavis who personified loser to the T
eat at the green tangerine which was like a party in your mouth french style
make it all priceless
shove all our purchases into our luggage at the end of the day
have crazily fab moments

i wish i rode a motorcycle though as that would have been crazy fool of me
i loved hanoi more than cambods
cambods was fab if you wanted to be lazy
as she allowed you to do what you wanted, when you wanted
but hanoi was like an untamed creature
who didn't want to listen to what you wanted
but that made you like her even more
werl

the 3 photographers got amazing shots
some of them so postcard worthy and they were worth the
"waiiitttt laaaa..taking photo weiiiii..eh, come on la...FINE LA OKAY, YOU GO FIRST"
&
"so right, the apature and exposure time..the lighting is not that good ah"
but they didnt overstep it that much anyways
we now have a photo diary of what we did - with countless animated jifs
and smalleyes & rammers even video diaried it too
so we managed to capture great moments
thankew guys for making it such a fab trip :D

and last but not least, i had a boy fall in love with me
where he proclaimed his love in less than 24 hours
and asked me to be his girlfriend in less than 3
he deemed i was worthy after i told him i like the red spiderman more
and when we laid on the deck chair counting stars
his name was alexander ; he was 5; and his mother was watching at all times ;)

i loved hanoi
& i cant wait for pai in september/november :D
this nipped the travel bug in the ass for a little while
but im still craving and planning for THAT trip
where i'll pack up and leave
and wont know where im going till i get there
and i dont know when i'll get back
to get lost and to wake up in a new city every so often
now that is what i call fabulous

cos.....
think what.......SKED AH?
:D

xL

hasta mañana fools

we are leaving tomorrow
and i know that we're not travelling far and wide
and not into the deepest depths of the earth
but thats okay
we are leaving tomorrow :D

and for those who know all the stress that's been going on
this is a well deserved break that couldnt come at a better time
i can actually feel my skin taut up and my wrinkles fade away :D
its nice to pack up and leave...
to leave the job reqs
to leave the constant play of emo alternative music
to leave the constant phone calls about work
to leave the same ol' same ol'
to leave it for a little while

its a little like me to pack up and leave when things get heavy

when things get a little too much

and i suddenly suffer from claustrophobia

i dont really buckle under pressure

but sometimes

there is this monotonous weight that you carry

and no matter what you do, you cant rid of it

xL

prisoned by technology

a very belated happeeburfday our dear hapsaps
who will be back at the end of the week
of whom we will inhale chikin pies with during the day
and ramlees during the nite
of secret escapades for hokkien mee
and berjogeting and getting happily high with long islands
yaya woman, the kl peeps are happy to embrace u back!

download want you to know by the freelance hellraisers
because im in advertising
i fall for great advertising
and sony ericsson has done a fab job of making me feel all soft and gooey and warm
with their ads
so i download their theme song off the net for free
i am a pirate :D

hanoi in 2 weeks :D
its gonna be fabulous cos we're gonna eat and drink....
oh OOPS
i will drink
i will smoke
all alone
whilst the photographers try to capture
the best light and bla bla bla
whatever la
trust me to go on a trip with 3 ppl that
dont drink & dont smoke
yes, god will embrace you with open arms whilst slamming that gold gate in my face

work has been really horrible
its been the worst it has ever been
its throwing up crap that i never knew could exist
of stupid changes and remarks where u're left to ponder their existence of a brain
their challenges to understand their briefs
ive officially become a slave to work
i checked my e-mails on the weekend, thinking it would save me the shock on monday
instead it made me blahed on a saturday
boohoohoohooohoo
although, i think ive managed to prove myself
that i can withstand more than i thought i could
which leaves my boss to thinking im crazily efficient
which could be interpreted either way
we'll just have to see

2 more weeks..................................
time has never passed this slow-ly
its monday
ew

xL

kampung-ing it up

we went whitewater rafting today
and it was fab :D
drove all the way to gopeng, near ipoh starting at 7.45 am but it was all worth it
we got drenched
we capsized
we shaked
we 1 2-ed
smalleyes wanted a kampung goreng pisang
i wanted frequency on the radio
we came back without a shoe and a pair of pradas
but we came back happy
next stop : kkb cos its more hardcore :D

want you to know you can make me happy
want you to know you make me sad


xL

fa kin su pa

i am seriously buzzing from caffeine at the moment
due to my pms cravings, i turned grossly greedy and decided to order a venti iced latte
.....
and i finished it too
and i never drink coffee...ever...its always hot chocolate or tea
now see what happens?
my hands are shaking and my mind is racing...this is cooler than drugs i swear :D
im such a dork
i get high from coffee....hyuk hyuk hyuk

anyways
this weekend we went to nero teca...the place is damn nice to hang and drink wine
even nicer than vintry
it has ambiance
and it makes me feel like im in melbourne
the food is okay, i think the pasta was the best along with the salad
i have to stop eating in these places
its making me broke

after that, just cos it was a saturday night and velvet was out of the question
we all went to watch pirates
yaya
im still in love with johnny depp
i want him to be my pirate
hahahahha

i basically watched 3 movies in 24 hours this weekend
silence of sleep (part of the french film fesitval, however starring mexican hottie gael garcia bernad); pirates of the caribbean 3 (hee hee johnny); la vie en rose/ la mome (part of the french film festival - about edith pilaf - the actress who played her was fantastic)
i watched two foreign films - i is culture :D

i better stop now, im seriously buzzing man
and a huge send out of love and support to rammers who started her first day of interning at junk....our little photog is growing up *sniff*
& short stuff is CIMB-ing, starting next week mondae

everyone is working
how clever are we ? 23 (at least i am) and we're earning our own dosh
we have 2 advertisers, 1 musically inclined ____ (um rammers, fill in the blank), 1 banker, 1 superstar DJ/a person who manages horses/um...my jack of all trades :D,1 educational co-ordinator ;), 1 urban planner, 1 hot shot dancer, 1 graphic designer who owns his own company, and a few accountants thrown into the mix
we are so growing up....sniff
im so proud of us all

i need to go
the words are jumping off the screen at me already

BUT BEFORE THAT - supa can die fucking mass email that has been going around:

English Chinese
That's not right = Sum Ting Wong
Are you harboring a fugitive? = Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP = Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man = Dum Fuk
Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? = Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift = Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here = Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet = Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone= No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week = Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight = Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile = Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive = Yu Stin Ki Pu
Great = Fa Kin Su Pa

xL

up down..left...huh where?

im so stressed out
like so busily stressed out
like the crap comes and then it comes again
and i doesnt look like its going to stop
warghhhh

there is no consistency in advertising
either you're hell busy, or its hell boring...
thats when i can blog, when im hell bored
when im hell busy - you get stupid random rants like this
hey lo!

im eating a whole lot too to counteract the stress
super rings, coke, loacker wafers, milo, sanwiches, anything from the bakery - i think its come to a point where ive tried everything once -, rice, noodles, aiya, just name anything from any food group and chances are that it has passed through my stomach
im so champion

and this weekend, we have photoshoots with kids
really, of all freaking things...kids
-_-
like i need that added stress of trying to keep a kid smiling....
or fuck smiling
just in one bloody spot

ive finally decided that im off in 2008
to londres :)
im cheating really..
i have no interest whatsoever in going to a foreign place that gets dark at 3p.m
i have no interest in eating curries and/or fish & chips and/or bangers & mash all the time
i have no interest in the bbc
i have no interest in dry english wit and humour
nada. none. zilch
im just using london as a base for me to travel europe
there are so many places .... the netherlands, belgium, switzerland, HELSINKI :D
if rosebud only knew
but she's given the green light for me to leave
i think she was just waiting for me to leave really, she knew i wasn't here for the long run

so thats my week
im swamped with work
and ive made the executive decision to leave next year
its nice to be young and have options :D

xL

30 hours a day

can i please up the requisite 24 hours a day to 30?
its only 6 more hours
then i'll have 28 waking hours - due to my demand for an 8 hour sleep
i'll have 28 waking hours to:

1. work my ass off for this campaign - when you think it's alright to breath, then comes another call after another brief after another change after another "its not going to work, L"
2. eat properly - sausage rolls do not constitute lunch
3. figure out the mess i've made with him
4. to go the gym to calm myself down and to put things into perspective
5. see my friends of whom i really need to see now
6. see my family
7. figure out what i want - between the dog hotel, business plans, research proposals & statement of intents its all getting to be a bit much - and no, delaying it doesnt make it any better

vietnam couldn't come at a better time

and especially to you....
there is no point apologizing any more because apologies at this time seem worthless
words dont even make any sense
words wont constitute the band aid for this wound
i cant even offer my time to you because i dont have any
i cant even offer any explanation because what would really make this better?
i know your pain because i've felt it
im frustratedly upset with myself because ive caused it
you ask me to talk to you, but i cant speak when ive got nothing to say
especially when i dont know where to start
something perfect now has become a huge mess
a mess that i have made
you need to know that i love you and they were all foolish mistakes
but that's not the comfort you're after

xL

no no cant be bothered

go to yue's site for my birthday pics
he's done an amazing job of putting it all up and making us look fab gila
so i aint gonna waste my time by putting it up here

ooooo download bjork's it's oh so quiet
i really didnt think i'd like her music but i love this song

maybe it's cos im getting older
you know, tastes change
maybe one day i'll stop loving haagen dasz
and go vegetarian

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAH

never!

xL

it was my party and it was fab :D

guess where im blogging from?
coffee bean
and i've always said that i will never be that
"person-with-laptop-scamming-free-wifi-from-coffee-outlet"
and i have
maybe this is what happens when you turn older

im blaming all my shortcomings on turning a year older
i cant seem to pinpoint it to anything else

____________________________________

last night was fab
i think it will be placed down to probably one of my best birthdays yet
it was that fab and i was that drunk that i've forgiven
all those that showed up late
you know who you are la -_-
but thank you so much you guys for coming
and thank you, especially you, who flew down and just completed it for me :)

so the damage was :
4 bottles of belvedere
1 bottle of skyy
1 bottle of moet
4 plates of coffee cheesecake & lychee creme brulee - all served in those spoons...loves it
60 shots of different shooters of poison

& off to velvet we went after that to open another bottle of vodka

i think that fucked all 30 people that showed
and i hope that you guys had lots of fun
and thank you for all putting in the effort to look so fabulously glam
i will actually post the pictures up when i can be bothered

and a last and final and the biggest thank you to you, sitting next to me -
my technologically retarded skinny assed love...see, i said love :)
for coming down and really making this awful event of turning a year older
so much more bearable and so much more memorable
thanks enduring my "its my birthday" reasons & just putting up with me
much love b

until then, imma gonna enjoy my time turning a year older at la bods now

xL

its my birthday and ill cry if i want to....

i haven't blogged for a week and this is what has happened

1. i got a new laptop called coko, braving low yatt for that. she's so bootiful and comes with vista *hyuk hyuk geek hyuk hyuk*
2. after the weekend, we worked a day, got two days off, are working another two days and getting another 2 days off. i like things in small doses
3. we braved SGWs - its like a different country altogether
4. low shao and i finally got to eat at the magnificent fish and chips shop - and it was magnificent :D yum
5. we saw spiderman 3.....i hate kirsten dunst even more and they managed to accentuate tobey mcguire's loserness to a new level, which i thought was impossible (come on la, he's so......grossly....pale and his hair, oh the horrors)
6. we is gonna scream for sue tonight
7. shao and i took eating to a new level : lunch, ice cream, tea, dinner....FUIYOH :P heroes
8. ive developed an unnatural craving for baskin robbins & haagen dasz. its worrying. im even willing to give up meat for ice cream.
9. ive only had 2 glasses of wine over the last 13 days. thats right bitches.

i really want to go on about how much i was sorely dissapointed by spiderman 3
but i think i've ranted enough at dinner yesterday
and i wont spoit it for those that actually want to watch it
i really really dislike kirsten dunst as a person, and especially more as a redhead
and tobey mcguire was such a loser that we all cringed

cannot
make
it

maybe its cos the last movie i watched was 300
expectations were high
sigh
i have no faith in hollywood anymore

however, in contradiction to that....
E! has finally its own channel on astro
its like finally, KL is catching up to the world
wawasan 2020 fools

xL

a few years back

i never ever put up pics
cos i think its like the most time consuming process
and i was right

but i brought my external hard drive in
mainly to clear it all up
and to pass kunt.um many episodes of tv that ive owed her
who loves your skinny ass huh? who does?

and i came across all these photos
that i probably havent even seen since last year

lo & behold a few pics
of the last 2 years
of melbourne
of spain
both places which my heart misses dearly
both places containing people i miss so much

my 21st / 2005 / the apartment / lavish

because sometimes they are all you really need

my 21st / 2005 / little collins street

my farewell / 2006 / lexington

i actually had to refer to an old post for the name of this place ;P

2006 / on a beach before i left

and then i was off to spain

my 22nd / 2006 /pacha, barcelona

the churros that were consumed after a late night / 2006 / madrid

germany, brazil, switzerland & malaysia united outside the xampaneria through 1 euro bottles of cava / 2006 / barcelona

yes, im not very productive today okay

yes, im just blogging

and no, dont expect every post to have photos

&

of course i miss them heaps too

will someone please offer to buy me a one way ticket out of here?

destination : barcelona with a stop-over in melbourne

yeah OKAY....i KNOW that melbies isnt on the way, but hey...a girl can always wish

xL

fabulously glamorous

is the theme for my party

yup :)

interpret glamorous as you wish but dont freaking show up in something generic thats bought from some lame shop like valley girl/supre kinda thing
hey, its my birthday and i can be a snob
and the theme is fabulously glamorous
and nothing glam can be found there

____________________________________

i never ever ever link people away to youtube but like
you must must must watch this link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7IvxmUcl1Q
its JT at the Victoria Secret fashion show
and JT is so sleek and smooth and phhhhwoooarrr
you want to know what i want for my 23rd?
HIM
and a can of whipped cream

______________________________________

to those who aren't here to celebrate with me
i really wish you were
*nudge brasies NUDGE*
cos its not going to be the same cos all i need are less than a handful of people from across the seas to come
:(
& this is going to be my first proper birthday in KL since the debaucherous 16th at equatorial
so hopefully it'll be rockin' in silver and white

skybar.5thmay.9pm

xL

hi my name is L, i came to get down

tentatively - oooeerrr, such a business word -
my birthday is scheduled :

where? sky bar, traders hotel
when? Saturday, 5th May 2007
whatime? 9.30 pm onwards
dress code? cos you know i like to put you bitches in formal wear...
so the theme this year is either

1. the great gatsby
2. margaritaville - haven't really established this yet, but it sounds hot
3. or just to dress all pretty like i've done with all my bdays

at the moment, im waiting for a semi retarded fool from sky bar to call me back
and she has yet to, so therefore, im using the word tentative
if not, it'll be somewhere in bukit ceylon


---------------------------------

on the other hand, i got a rockin' present from the rosebud
she has officially given me 15 acres of land for me to do as i please
so im going to open my kennels & cattery
:)
well thats my plan la and i hope to do it
mainly so i can bring ralphy down & be my own boss
hells yes
so im going to see the land this weekend and hopefully *crossing fingers* all will be okay and it'll actually fall through by the end of this year :D
rosebud did have a disclaimer though....
"if it fails, i'm not going to bail you out"
pfft
no faith no faith
then i'll just return to advertising or just umm..work for her
*shrudder*
it best work out


xL

sorted

so we did not find the forest
we drove to kota damansara, assuming that the kota damansara community forest would be there...but ended up on the ghetto side of sungai buloh
-_-
however, our good intentions did pay off by finding drive thru heaven
where they had kfc, maccas and pizza hut - all in one place
rather intrigued however to figure out how a drive through pizza hut works though

on the flipside
had an extremely porky weekend washed down with wine :D
yum
saturday - we went to vintry where we met up with hovy :)
poor dude seems to keep on coming back to kl on weekends
& i cant blame him, i wouldnt want to socialise with singaporeans either
small eyes had roast pork salad - i know, the contradiction of it all kills me too
and short stuff & i drank crazy amounts of white wine
then after vintry we navigated our way to petaling street
where there was siew yoke min and loh shi fan
i dont know a better saturday night

sunday - short stuff and i tanned
on the hottest day ever
we were literally dripping with sweat
a sauna with a tan :D
& went to see sakai off to go kick ass
for dinner, i went to daves with rosebud where they had totally re-porkified their menu
they have a beer garden now with a pork menu
the pork ribs are super to die for

im starting to sound like small eyes
and i think that hanging with a pork deprived geetha chan plays a huge part in this post too

we actually do more productive things during the weekend
we really do have more substance than just stuffing ourselves with pork and wine

really! honestly.........we do..........

i promise *looks at the sky & twiddles thumbs*

xL

seriously?

the last few days have been hell
its like satan pulled up a chair next to me and said
"hello, i've come to give you an introduction to your afterlife"
if hell is anything like what i've experienced these past few days
then i'd better start getting my ass to church and confessing my sins

and you want to know what the most ironic thing of all things is?
last sunday was like the first time i went to church in at least 2 years
and this week was the crappiest week ever
so i dont know about you, but its sure as hell telling ME something
-_-

why was it crap?
oh look, can of worms...here let me open it
1. the server at work was down which meant no msn - dont even get me started on the hell that put me through. i couldnt even log onto web messenger. however, i did discover an alternative because i believe that all problems can be solved. and the solution to this was www.iloveim.com

2. the server at work was down which meant no client got no email - i hung out alot at the fax machine to say the least

3. the server at work was down which meant i couldnt log onto gmail/hotmail/anymail - if having no msn was bad, no e-mail left me so uber disconnected i forgot all the names of my friends

4. all these jobs came in that needed to be completed ASAP - i'll show those fools ASAP

5. i have my period - really?

6. i'm sick - yes, i classify having a sore throat and coughing like mad an illness... and no, stopping smoking is just not an option with the way the week has been

however on a brighter note

F1 weekend provided KL with a whole lot of things to do
there were raves and concerts and parties all over town
so what did we do?
went to a wine bar far away from the crowd :)
i think this is what happens when you age - you start hating people more and you add a character trait called 'anti-social' to your already long list of personality disorders

on sunday though, to please the hip-hopper inside of me...
kunt.um & i went to get jiggy to kanye
and he was...um okay... well the last 15 minutes were hot... and thats about it
BUT we were so way up front that we might as well have been on stage :)
all our boyband trips when we were young? it was training for kanye
oh believe you me, we did nudge & shove & push
apparently lewis hamilton was there too
would've been good if i knew what he looked like then though
cos i saw him in the papers today - and hell yes he is a hottie :D
i should listen to short stuff more
and a kanye west after party is not a party with no kanye
talk about waste of freaking time

anddennnnnnn

midweekmaddness has been moved to thursdays in commemoration of sue
so we're gathering at my place tonight to cheer her on
although we already know that she's in
champion wei

and on saturday small eyes & i are off.....
on
a
forrest walk

yup :)
apparently there is some forrest reserve around my place
so we're going to hang out with mother earth and see how she's doing

other than that, that is my update for like the last week and a bit
i would've updated at home, but that would just be wasting precious 'me' time
cos at the moment its filled up with
1. the gym
2. gilmore girls season 6
3. ugly betty
4. sleep

next week better get itself in order and be better
cos this is just not cutting it
i'm going to have to move if this crap carries on

xL

when it rains

Somewhere over the rainbow/Way up high/And the dreams that you dreamed of/Once in a lullaby/Somewhere over the rainbow/Blue birds fly/And the dreams that you dreamed of/Dreams really do come true/Someday I'll wish upon a star/Wake up where the clouds are far behind me/Where trouble melts like lemon drops/High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh/Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly/And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I?/Well I see trees of green and red roses too/I'll watch them bloom for me and you/And I think to myself/What a wonderful world/Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white/And the brightness of dayI like the dark and I think to myself/What a wonderful world/The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky/Are also on the faces of people passing byI see friends shaking hands/Saying, "How do you do?"/They're really saying, I love you/I hear babies cry and I watch them grow/They'll learn much more than we'll know/And I think to myself/What a wonderful world/SomedayI'll wish upon a star/Wake up where the clouds are far behind me/Where trouble melts like lemon drops/High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me/Somewhere over the rainbow way up high

fab remix of what a wonderful world & somewhere over the rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo
its so soothing, like jack johnson on a sunday morning

and here are my cravings for the month
1. more baskin robbins. totally robbed them of their ice cream on the 31st
2. haagen dazs strawberry cheesecake cos its like two dreams at once
3. a barbeque with lots of meat and lashings of potato salad
4. chilli's chilli cheese fries
are you hungry yet?
5. chicken pie
6. ikea curry puffs
7. the hottest, sweetest never ending milo with digestive biscuits whilst in bed watching ugly betty
8. more heroes
9. winter with the heater
10. summer on the beach

he was back to spin at the loft
the mid week madness crew alongside with small eyes and nana partied the night away
boobs partied a little too hard and made friends with the KL's drainage system
hee hee hee
he left on sunday but we had the slowest 3 days ever, lazing around
it was like sunday for nearly 72 hours
and it was perfect

its taking alot for me to sit calm here and not throw everything into the air
and move back to australia to be with them
where there will be winters with the heater and summers on the beach
of big fat doonas and vineyards
but i have this stupid, stupid rationale side
this nagging voice stopping me from going
this nagging voice saying that ive got a career
this nagging voice saying that i'll regret it when im 30

*wails and slams head onto desk*

whats your cause to champion?

so i could've said that i was fooled into the training last weekend
i went there with the mindset that it was all about advertising
that they will teach us how to write strategic briefts, creative works, how to handle people that you directly work with & how to all come together to manage the brand to its ultimate potential
then on the first day
that was all thrown out of the window
we were asked to explore ourselves

i know right? what has this got to do with anything?

but it somehow was like this small life lesson that they were teaching us

they asked us to tap into all these things that we were pushing away for the longest time
and im the biggest cynic
"you can't make people want to resolve things that they dont/you can't force it/how do you know that this will be the right move for an individual/dont hold us all under the same school of thought"
but i thought
"hey, ive given up my weekend, im here, might as well try it and give 100%"
so i did

so i put doubt and cynicsm aside and tried it out and i managed to feel alot of things that i had boxed away and forgot about
i did deal with them and i did share them
which was rather foreign to me really...sharing my ideas, hopes and fears with a group of strangers? wtf right? but it felt really good in the end because:

1. i saw how all these unresolved issues i had had affected my life subconsciously
2. i understood them
3. i dealt with them
4. i realised that everyone feels as vulnerable and weak as i do at one point or another
5. that everyone has issues
6. that you should take ownership over everything that happens to you

i know this post is very wishy washy and very new age but honestly, once you push all the cynicism aside and actually try it, it does work. its very empowering and brought alot of clarity to what i saw as rather fuzzy and grey.

its a challenge to what you have already perceived as the norm and how to work. and if you want to stay safe, then keep that way. but once you break everything down eg. your judgment, your insecurities and your fears then you can actually feel a little lighter & a whole lot of possibilities will come your way.

baby steps

xL