koh tao :)

koh tao is pai on the beach
i got everything that i planned to get from this trip
every single item that i wrote about in the previous post?
i got it all plus more ;)
i have this constant goofy smile on my face right now
and im sure its going to annoy an entire lot of people
but you know what?
fuck it :D

koh tao had a million great moments of which:
- i danced barefoot under the moonlight and a blanket of stars. of which totally represented every single word in mr. tambourine man. we ran in at midnight to red hot chili peppers and floated, just totally in love with the moment.
- the first night in koh tao, i had an intense moment with the ocean. i stood on beach, just in silence absorbing all her glory. if the ocean was a man, we would have the most passionate relationship. i had the craziest, almost posessed moment where i needed to run in. and i did :)
- the buckets. 250 baht. apparently still pretty expensive, but gave us great fun
- diving. it gave me what i needed. diving to me is like mcdonalds. the reassurance of getting that calm zen where every single one of your worries melts away and you just go "i get it now, thanks god, i get it now"
- we ran around in nearly nothing. a totally liberating feeling
- met a entire lot of gorgeous people. no old fat german men, with sunburnt bodies :)
- everyone was backpacking. all probably either escaping or looking for that moment. and its pretty safe to say that everyone who went there got what they went there to get. i did
- abseiling down a 33 metre cliff and cliff jumping in after that. the rush wasnt as intense as i expected but nevertheless, still a great feeling cos the view was amazing
- met someone pretty special. it was passionate and we connected on a crazy level. it brought me back to being a teenager, where you just didnt give a fuck about what anyone else thought, and was just fulfilled from the moment itself. eloping was a possibility in my mind. i want to go on about this, but i want to keep it to myself as well. it was one of my most happiest experiences, because it was one of the most pure ones. nothing dirty, nothing sleazy, just the beauty of connecting with another human.
- the whole trip, we ate like 5 meals. for me, i just had no appetite, almost as if every one of my senses was satisfied. filling my body with food was just not on my mind.
- the bastards of sandflies from perhentian found me. but i was prepared with medication this time. ate one at 3pm, at 8pm, i looked at my food and went "fuck this, too much effort". could not do it.
- sitting at the bar that overlooked the sunset, with a chang in my hand and listening to jack johnson. so very cliche, but did it for me.
- hung out with 4 other people who made the experience just crazy fun. it's great to connect with people from the other side of the world, who just get you.
- got that all encompassing happiness, where every single sorrow i had, just melted away.
- i know what to do in september
- realised that anita and i do have boundaries and we are not as dangerous to each other as people assume that we are going to be. so nyeh.
- too many other smaller moments, of which im not going to write about, but made the trip
- developed a really disgusting hate for koh samui. no major bad experience, just really, really bad energy from that place. it just emitted something i did not want in my life.

im done writing about this
i fell in love with the entire trip
if this is what my 20s is supposed to be about, then just watch me milk it for all its worth for the next 6 years

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're all drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all precious gifts
But you'd better take your diamond ring, you'd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?
- bob dylan, like a rolling stone

x the happiest L for a very long time