adorarlo para siempre; nunca aislar

im procrasinating by blogging
im supposed to be at the gym bodybalancing
pfft
i shouldn't have done this whole blog thing
now i feel the pressure to come up with witty things to say
or even subjects of actual importance that commands me writing about it
and i cant keep on writing about my alcoholic ways
cos that would inadvertently be broadcasting that im dependent on the substance
which i really quite am
but i still love my nicotine so much more though
*sigh*
evidently, i need my little addictions to keep me chugging on

and my life isn't at all depressing
its pretty effing sweet actually
and i believe the best writing comes out of a tortured soul
like alanis in the 90s
not current-alanis-who-is-shacking-up-with-ryan-hot-stuff-reynolds

the only thing that is actually bugging me is that how absent rosebud has been
its gotten to the extent of when she is home, i feel uncomfortable
she's off again tomorrow
and off again in two weeks
talk about the perfect dysfucntional family of 3

mother: hangs out with a bunch of psychotic pre-menapausal women who encourages her 'alternative' ways of raising her children;travels everywhere and at any given moment;is very loud; is very temperamental;can be described as terribly irrational
first child: addicted to anything and everything; can't be in one place for too long; has a rather significant identity crisis problem;omg, lets not even continue on....im sure we all dont have all day to delve into the many issues that are habouring inside me
second child: has an even more significant identity crisis (looks indian/malay, is chinese, raised in australia, thinks she's jamaican); addicted to anything and everything; will never date a chinese boy; can be even more spiteful than first child;holds deep resentment towards mother for failing to recognise that she is already 18

why im not on prozac yet amazes me

xL

ps im broke and its only been 4 days since i got paid thanks alot small eyes...there went nearly 700 on material goods *boohoohoo* can we start eating at coffeeshops from now on?