comment il allant à est

okay maybe now i want to be a french chain smoking bohemian
im officially in love with charlotte gainsbourg and marion cotillard
i was backdated and was overwhelmed by pharell & the boys from superbad
and i was using all my energy to be a backpacking-gun-toting-scuba-diver
but now i want to give that all up
i want to grow my hair so its long and stringy and dye it dirty brown
i want to chain smoke. all. the. time
i want to have a staple diet of cheese and wine
i want to buy baguettes and carry them around in a basket
i want to read le monde
and i want to throw myself into the siene
and live on the left bank
i want i want i want i want i want
i never ever wanted to go to france cos i heard the french were rude
but maybe i should move there, learn french and assimiliate into the culture
that would be dope
but knowing me, ill probably get there, want to then be a gangsta thug again and it will all just be a waste of time and money
considering the other day, i really wanted to be a skaterchick and wear vans and dye my hair the blackest black and constantly wear black eyeliner. yeah i know right.

but these two women define class and talent
they are just the most magnificent actors
i saw marion cotillard as edith piaf in la vie en rose earlier this year
and i was convinced that it was an old woman playing the part
she played it so well that i was freaked out
and charlotte gainsbourg was more mesmerising than gael garcia bernad in the silence of sleep
i wish i was french goddammit
then i could be a full on snob, eat well and be thin
life is so unfair sometimes

anyhooo back to reality
remember all my rants about getting my tattoo done
well i lied
it's not even completed yet
so yeah, ive been walking around like a fool with just an outline for a month plus and having to endure taunts of
"why, the pain that bad ah that you can't continue?"
no fuckers, its because ive had no time alright
im finally going to get it done today
before lina flies off to switzerland
i have to get it done today. in exactly 1 hour
its going to be so freaking gorgeous
and when its finished, i'll probably want to be a beach bum and open a scuba shack

its like the article i posted
so many damn opportunities to do everything and anything
that at the end of the day, it may not even be the best thing
everyone is going to suffer from multiple personality disorders

xL

kiss kiss bang bang

i have finally crossed off the last thing to do for 07
fucking efficient if you ask me
well my list wasnt too long to start with...i should have aimed to be more ambitious
maybe that should be on my 08 list

what happened in 07?
1. siem reap, cambodia
2. whitewater rafting
3. hanoi, vietnam
4. redang & tioman, malaysia
5. singapore
6. scuba diving
7. shenzhen, china
8. macau
9. shooting a gun
10. kick boxing

yeah okay, i should have done better, but i think ive completed quite a bit there
hanoi was still, hands down, the best place i hung out at this year
however, angkor wat & happy pizza takes a very close second place
i still have december, which could just entail all sorts of nonsense
shooting a gun was just bloody fucking fun
okay, i really thought that i was going to kill myself, freak accident style
like the recoil would've just been too nuts and thats it la
but it was crazy fun
hussy, anini and i were on some kinda high after that
we're going to now progress it even further and join the shooting club
i know right...talk about being trigger happy

the weekend saw us:
1. eating siew yoke min without even clubbing...hussy and i deemed it because we went club hopping the week before and were now paying for it. old la, at 23
2. mansion and 789 decked out in red
im too lazy to elaborate even further, maybe its because ive downloaded...
wait for it
wait for it
COOKING MAMA 2

thats right bitches
2007 is finally looking up...it pays to be simple

"Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once"
- superbad

xL

slap me in the face

so i was reading frankie which the child brought back from australia. and besides all the other articles about everything that has been written before because music and fashion does reinvent itself...there was this article by josh phillips entitled "great expectations"
and because it was so damn relevant and so damn "yes la, i feel that way"
i'm even gonna type it out for you fools to go "yes la" with me :D

"You've got a naturally high self-esteem - a by-product of being part of the best-educated, most technologically savvy generation alive. You might even look at your baby boomer parents with the slightest sense of pity. Now, don't get me wrong - they had it good, just not as good as you. They had choices, just not as many. They had education, just not as much. They had self-expectations, just not as high. But the flip side of a hot-shit generation like ours is the crippling effect that failed self-expectations can have when reality sets in.....
Be you at the tail end of generation X or the height of generation Y, you may feel like you were destined to do something bigger and better than you currently are. Our demographic doesn't fear the future, we don't worry about authority and we've never experienced economic recession, but we do seem to have one paralysing fear - mediocrity.......
We're at ends as to what the fuck we're actually meant to do with our lives. We've been brought up to believe we can do anything, be anything, and so you have this entire class of upwardly mobile people all striving to live the deam. But what if we can't? Brad Pitt's Tyler Durden said it best in the Fight Club: "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." - Josh Phillips, Frankie issue 20

wikipedia's explanation of:
generation x: a term used to describe generations in many countries around the world which were born between 1964 and 1980. there seems to be a whole collision of what they actually represent
generation y: to describe those children born between 1981–1995. to re-confirm the article above there is alot more other interesting reasons to why im this jaded and cynical at only 23 at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Y

my commentary:
jesus fucking christ, that explains it all then
im glad we're all feeling a little below par and like unaccomplished misfits
the bandwagon seems to be getting a little full

xL

it's not all black and white

so im seriously believing in fate now
after all my hesitations and according to some, pure paranoia
i got a call yesterday
in effect, it alleviated every single worry rushing through my mind
well, not 100% but it was a big step forward
and it happened right smack in the middle of me thinking about it
so holy shit right?

im not blogging about it because im not going to jinx it
and fucked if i want to jinx this like every other good thing in my life

im not being overly dramatic here
it is a serious act of fate, or some other energy
or maybe what they wrote in the secret holds true?
or maybe this is what happens when you start taking responsibility?

this is pretty exciting so im going to hold my breath
really
until my face turns blue and explodes into a million pieces
i will

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need" - grey's anatomy

xL

mary mary quite contrary

so of late ive been having immense internal conflict
and i really don't think ive experienced something like this before
im just swinging on a pendulum from one extreme to another
so i did some thinking
and that this conflict was because i decided to make a move
based on a decision based not wholely on me
which was really, a first
and you knew that, they knew that, i knew that
so i made a decision to end this conflict once and for all
to turn it around, and make my stay here next year mine
to own that decision
so the tears, the smiles, the laughter, the questions, the "oh fucks", the rights and the lefts - they would be all mine and it feels better that way
so of course, i had to drastically change that up...again, you know, just for the drama
i told the rosebud thanks but no thanks to the new car
i know, my heart broke knowing i wont be smelling new leather car seats
and told her to instead let me do what i do best and run away next year
so this plan B was conjured up out of the blue
as many of my other plans
so at the moment, summer 08 has been extended to winter
jesus fucking tittie christ hey

but who knows next week plans may change again
but fo sho something better come out of L rejecting a new car

so the weekend saw:
1. mansion on friday with anini and long legs : mansion is a damn good looking place with silver couches and a spacious layout, however not impressed with them not having any white wine, when their menu boasts 4 pages of selection. as anini said "you had one chance to impress us..." whatever it is, people always remember the bad things and hardly ever the good.

2. a whole day of wedding events on saturday with a little contact sport in the middle:
for a wedding, it wasn't as romantic as i expected...the food was pretty dope though. so thumbs up for that.
kick boxing for 1.5 hours left me rushed with adrenalin and led me signing up for one month of people encouraging me to whack stuff. really. fucking. hard. it was a cathartic release because it feels damn good, just hitting something :)

3. 21/the outside of mansion/atrium on saturday night with hassi. after being told that mansion was 'closed' -_- a long island beach tea or something saved the night.

4. a very sore L permanently attached to the sofa on sunday. the kickboxing took a whole lot out of me as it has been a while since i've worked my upper body that much. my wrists, my palms and even my fingers were sore. sakit GBB dude

5. me starting a new affair with my love for words. so no, i don't just write here on this blog. i typed for a good 4 hours yesterday and it was really satisfying, it was almost as if i had all this inside me pented up and it was all purged yesterday. it made me forget things, feel things i've boxed away for awhile and gave me a whole lot of clarity. it was a breath of fresh air

to top this rather blah monday post off:

happy burdday gayve my love (for tomorrow lah)
we tried to have a great one with you on saturday night but you were so wasted that we just let you be instead :) you got your hot men in little clothes this year so next year, i hope that you find a naked hot man willing to please you in all different areas ;)
hey, i was going with mental and emotional...what were you thinking?
*insert mass representation of love here*

xL

plan B: twisting my way out; take back your ball and chain

ive realised that its been awhile since ive gone freefall
and i want to do that again

"dance like nobody's watching
love like you've never been hurt
sing like nobody's listening
live like it's heaven on earth" says mark twain

and the bloody saddest thing ever
is that the only times i feel alive is with them and not with you
and i finally understand why i never wanted to settle
why i always rejected the comfortable
so i dont have to feel dead like this
as if im just slowly cruising from day to day, month to month
with no firm plans, therefore no direction
and okay, if ive made the wrong turn
then ive got plan B
ive always had plan B, because with you, you need a plan B
and plan B isn't as sweet, but it will do...for the meantime

at 23, all i want to do is run the streets of different cities
and feel invincible
and dance as if i was born with rhythm
but maybe never sing, cos i know better
and love as if that love will never hurt or betray me
to love, like that love will love me back for all im worth
and it will be okay to wake up in a 3 euro a night hostel
and not have proper meals
and hitch rides into the most remote regions
and run off by myself, to think, to learn and explore
and finally learn to love myself the way i was always supposed to

and okay, maybe you think, at 23
and i thank god im conflicting at 23, rather than 33
we're supposed to know already
we're supposed to have it all set out in our minds
our freaking 5 year plan
and maybe im damn wrong for having a plan B
maybe plan A was the right plan, the best plan

we'll see then huh

"Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People...they don't write anymore - they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English" - says hank, californication

L with no fucking xox

ni hao ni hao

so i is back from china
and it was a dope, but rather fast and rushed trip
left friday morning and came back monday afternoon
you go figure it out
and this was our schedule
friday: left kl at 6am + 1 hour of air asia delay. arrived shenzhen at 12pm. dim sum (shao, you would have freaked the fuck out man...it was that good) and shopping till 5.30pm. the never ending journey to the hills of which we arrived at 1am. whoa right?
saturday: rather quick tour of the orchids, the golf course, the lakes and the mineral water factory - i know right. back down to shenzhen arriving at 8pm. dinner & totals passed out
sunday: macau...that was pretty dope cos i won money gambling and the food kicked ass (read: portuguese egg tarts & the best fried wan tans ever.really.ever)
monday: back to kl

so im pretty freaking exhausted now and im back at work
i think im coming down with a cold as well
but nevertheless the last week was pretty goddamn eventful
i saw him which was pretty nice, although rather hectic
then off to china
i dont think that i can make it as a full time jetsetter
i would like to, but i think my body will crash big time

i would like to elaborate on how much china has changed ever since i stepped foot there 10 years ago (thanks rosebud), but my brain is pretty fuzzy at the moment
i can only do very basic tasks, like walk and talk (but not at the same time)
this doesnt feel as bad as when i got back from tioman
but its on the same level of stupidity and incompetence

productivity level today : 5

xL

fabulousity

so hussy's 23rd was a blast
it was a great night with great company and great food and booze
i think it can come down to one of the best nights that ive had in a while
of just talking shit and catching up
it was like an extended mid-week-maddness session with extra peeps
:D
well done hussy, i guess it was worth the looooong drive to hulu ampang
remember, it was done only because it was your birthday
so dont think that kunt.um and i have gotten soft at our old age

so just a small update of which anyone of whom matters to me already knows...
ive been looking at other jobs
ive been asked to jump by two companies since ive started
and that was hella swell
and ive applied to another two
all have offered and ive turned them all down
why why why you ask?
because my current company, has finally given me my increment!!!
and that couldn't feel any better really
just being recognised that you are worth a hella lot more than you're getting now
so ive decided to stay put for the time being
until a job that i deem worthy lands in my lap
and them two deem that i have an unusual way of wanting to be happy
so i've decided to stay comfortable for the mean time

and today, i finally get my tattoo all done
it will be COMPLETE
and i can finally show those across the oceans what it looks like
so happy now small eyes? you get to finally see it

im on freaking cloud 9 at the moment
its like all this craziness that has been happening around me is falling into place
however, there is still one client that is still rather nasty
and i wish she would kneel over and die ASAP
whuvver. we get one miracle at a time
im off to china on friday @ 6am i.know.right
that means KLIA @4.45am
which also means her brochure can die a natural death in my absence
fucktards

xL
i'll see you peeps after china
and dayve? you keep practicing "the-synchronized-dancing-within-a-confined-space" without me okay, i expect that when i get back, you'll give 300% :D

its cool to be anti-cool

to hussy:
HAPPY 23RD TOMORROW!
MAY YOU HAVE ANOTHER FABULOUS YEAR OF....
scuba-diving/sky-diving/not keeping your mouth shut/driving mika to his full potential/showing them fools how to drive on the road/pushing the limits of every.single.thing.you.do/grey goose & belvederes/hot men (maybe you'll have to leave kl for this)/and hopefully, finding what you really want in your career, either that, or take over the banking industry.whuvver.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

_______________________________________
i believe this should be on every.single.person's.playlist
more some than others :)

Smile
Like you've got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do
There's always someone out there cooler than you
I know that's hard to believe
But there are people you meet
They're into something that is too big to be
Expressed
Through their clothes
And they'll put up with all the poses you'll throw
And you won't
Even know that they're not sizing you up
They know your mom fucked you up
Or maybe let you watch too much TV
But they'll still look in your eyes
To find the human inside
You know there's always something in there to see
Beneath
The veneer
Not everybody made the list this year
Have a beer
Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
But there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the shit but you won't be here for long
Oh, there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there's always someone cooler than you
Now that I've got the disease
In a way I'm relieved'
Cause I don't have to stress about it like you do
I might just get up and dance
Or buy some acid-wash pants
When you don't care then you got nothing to lose
And I won't
Hesitate
'Cause every moment life is slipping away
It's ok
Life is wonderful
Life is beautiful
We're all children of
One big universe
So you don't have to be a chump
- ben folds' 'there's always someone cooler than you'

yeah okay
im super can die bored at work
its a period where i just have to wait
andden everything comes crashing all at once
and i end up drowning once again
so drama. i know. i like.

and in addition to the events of november:
4. dayve's 23rd...your theme should be prom night...happy? happy? happy?
5. KANCILS tomorrow :D

xL