take me to the place where you go

you have no idea how estatic i am that im going to sabah tomorrow
im banking on the "not-being-in-kl" part for NYE to start a new year
i think if you put me in penang on the beach i'll be pretty happy too
thats how much i need to get out of kl
the best part is, the minute i get on the plane, i close the chapter for 07
whatever has happened, has happened
ill try my hardest not to look back at 07 with misery or anger
ill try my hardest to realise that shit happens and we learn from it
AND MOVE ON

i cannot cry about what has happened anymore because frankly im exhausted
i cannot live in a drunken or drugged haze anymore because i cant make rational decisions
i cannot want to go to sleep and when i close my eyes, im haunted
i cannot irritate and frustrate the lives out of my friends anymore
basically, i just want to get over this
so i will and i promise you that the next post for the new year will be a little more positive

i think that in itself is a new years resolution enough, no?
and here are the little ones that really don't need until a new years for someone to make
1. to figure out a somewhat realistic 5 year plan of which by the time its over, im not still financially reliant on rose
2. to go to the gym a little more often
3. to reduce the smoking and the drinking - see, im being realistic as fo sho im not going to quit
4. to find a plan for 2008 and stick to it no matter what. im not even going to say what im going to do until ive finalised it
5. to find something better to do with my time than be fake to people i dont think very highly of
6. to do the audition with khadeeds gbb fool
7. stop searching for a little while and be satisfied at where im at
8. to not have any relationship with anyone :)

happy new years people
i know we're all over the place at the moment, but it was good catching up the other day.
may the new years bring you lots of happiness and love and smiles
now i dont have to send out mass sms-es right?

xL

2 more days is my new chant

the entire day today, ive been chanting like a fool "2 more days 2 more days 2 more days"
you get the idea la
christmas was merry
christmas was filling
i have never eaten so much meat in one damn day
i cant even eat now and its been 12 hours
and i always eat

we, as in all 4 of us, not just me
need to leave to sabah like right now
no one is being productive
no one is focusing
and this is just getting ridiculous to the extent that its a joke
how can you get random holidays scattered all over december and expect us to be productive

i need to go home

xL

adios 2007

a summary of 2007 from my point of view, the only point of view in my life that matters
starting from the most basic, to the most in depth
a post that i cannot not do, if i want 2008 to be all about fabulosity ;)

movies
1. transformers
2. 300
3. superbad
4. knocked up

tv
1. weeds
2. grey's anatomy
3. greek spanks khadeeds. i want cappie
4. brothers & sisters

music
1. common
2. new comer
3. JT
4. rhythms del mundo : buena vista social club

the hottest places ive gone to this year
1. hanoi
2. cambodes
3. macau
4. the islands that malaysia has to offer

the events that defined 2007
1. jumping off the boat in halong bay
2. my tattoo
3. my fabulously glamorous 23rd
4. small eyes leaving me
5. have that one promise broken

what 2007 has taught me
1. that i dont know it all. that i think i know it all, and thats where the trouble and the drama starts. you are your own worse enemy
2. that you cant please everyone, all the time. that you'll always have critics. as long as you don't offend anyone, you're good to go
3. that as you get older, you understand more, the more you understand, the more complicated things are
4. that as you get older, the problems get more complex
5. that you can be all about fabulousity without a man on your arm. in fact, you're better being fabulous alone than have another one drag you down

what im implementing
1. KL is too small. so im getting the fuck out of here. too much drama with hanging out with too many people. i have my COGs and that's all i need at the end of the day and a bottle of wine
2. to be on my own, with no commitment to anybody
3. to learn to manage my expectations better therefore less dissapointment
4. to give more credit to gut instincts
5. the end of 2007 has absolutely wrecked me and i have exactly a week to make sure it ends with some positive energy

so thats pretty much it
its christmas eve and im ready to get the fuck out of the office at 3.30pm
again, merry christmas, especially small eyes who is the only one not back here this time around
we're missing you crazy GBB...well i am lor :)

xL

4 steps

apparently there are 4 steps to recovery
hurt
anger
acceptance
recovery

i think im hovering around the acceptance/recovery stage at the moment
apparently each step involves getting absolutely shifaced
which ive been doing enough of late
ive decided that the rest of december calls for me being on a liquid diet
and for january and february to detox GBB

nearly everyone is back, and i mean everyone
even those from london who dont come back over xmas are back
the singaporeans are back
the australians are back
you get the gist, everyone is home and its pretty damn nice

im seriously boredom at work at the moment
no one seems to be in, everyone is on leave
so im here, being a facebook whore and writing nonsense on my blog
i dont know why you guys read this la, im doing this to entertain myself
and ive also decided on what i want for christmas

1. to travel. period. fullstop. nothing more

travelling at the moment will just soothe everything
some say its living in denial, then fine, i'll live in denial
some say that im just running away, then goddamn let me run far
id like to say that i just want to get out of here
summer 08 is still on, everyone is now invited, however, only if u dont have a dick
dicks just fuck things up

oh and have a merry christmas lovers

xL

'tis the season to be.....

its for some reason starting to really feel like the festive end of the year season that seemingly has been dead until this week
maybe its because tomorrow is a holiday, because we muhibbah
and again on tuesday and again the tuesday after that
:D

monday was absolute fucking shite
so what do we do?
we met, we drank 2 bottles of white, and everything seemed to feel better after that
maybe they say that misery loves company
but my company was fab and they made me feel like everything i was carrying on my shoulders melted away after that
that was nice, that helped

so whats in store for new years?
sabah. thats fucking right
an island hopping, cocktail drinking, sunset watching, scuba diving, hammock lazying new years
with no one to scream, be drunk or step on our toes
we can get lazily drunk on rum or whatever they drink there
and just lie there under the stars and fucking think 'this is life'

im fucking lazy to blog

xL

REALLY? IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE FOR ME?

note this
so when it rains, it seems to goddamn pour
and when you think that its all done and accounted for
when you think it cant rain any harder
when you look up and start screaming "is that all you have got for me?"
no
there is still a whole lot more shit, where the initial shit came from
and it manages to take you to new levels of low
especially the levels of low, where you have the power to say, okay, enough is enough
so here, enough is enough
i get to be angry

im sorry it took me so long to grasp this and figure it out
i should have done it sooner
but saying that, if i did, it would have been done because it was 'the thing to do'
so i didnt do 'the thing to do', i gave myself time to sort it out internally
to figure out what path was the best for me to walk down
with the intention to 'jaga hati'
i havent found the damn path, maybe because there isnt one
so im taking a shovel and paving it myself
and finally deciding that, im not confused, im not so so, im not hesitating
because i wanted damn clarity and here it all is

so plan A is fucked, scrap plan B cos its taking too long
in fact, fuck the plans la okay
cos they never go as planned and they rely on unreliable factors to guarantee its damn success
so scrap planning
im going to do something drastic
like how i did went i left australia to spain and never returned
yeah, along those lines
they said amsterdam is not a bad place

xL

as good as it gets

christmas carols are starting to gain some major fucking airplay on the radios
cannottakeit.com.my/fuckchristmas
i mean really right, christmas is really overrated
santa doesnt bloody exist, so yeah, we believed a lie until we were 6
and even if he did exist, we gots no chimneys for the fat fool to come down from
i cant really see santa climbing up 3 floors to my apartment
and trying to break in after rosebud installed a security system and 3 locks
logistically, santa can't do it

so im not elaborating about the events that have past
because thats just a downright waste of my time
and also because i have a constant reminder of the pain anyway
i've already vented
and frankly, im gonna take the unhealthy route of alcohol and bottling it up

im not going to have a life after january the 3rd
two big briefs are coming in, which means, i've surrendered any ounce of a social life
i guess thats what happens when you have shit all to do for 2 months
and go for 3 hour lunches and come in at 10am and leave at 5.30am
life is rather a bitch

which brings me to asking, is this as good as it gets?
do i get to strive for a little more, or will i get a door slammed in my face?
do i need to be ambitious or will i just be dissapointed?
why fucking try if at the end of the day, it just wont work out
what if there are no fairytales
and what if you really cant be all you want to be?
i mean, fuck following your dream if it isnt realistic
maybe we are still naive and think that its all true
and just like when we were 6, we then realise
santa doesnt exist

xL

we're set for 08

its already december
and really, its like time as gone haywire
cos it seems like it was just last week that it was christmas 06
holy freaking cow

so ive finally done my tattoo and im pretty happy with it
it was 2.5 hours of absolute suffering
and hell no, im not going to be macho and say it was a breeze
cos it wasnt
if anything, the first 2 hours were okay, i was fine
then it was the last half an hour where i swear i was going to pass out
i felt dizzy and my body was turning against me
but when i look at my ass, its all worthwhile :D
so small eyes, i'll send you the photo soon

and then, in the process of reinvention
i chopped my hair off
now its bloody short, well for me la, who has been carting around long hair for the longest time. it was a very liberating feeling

so the weekend and last night saw:
1. my tattoo and movies under the stars on friday, i do well pr-ing my ass off for my clients
2. me saying toodles to my locks and saying HELLO WHITNEY! yeah huh, we saw whitney. we stayed till 12.45 pm to see whitney. but whitney was grand, altho im suspect of her voice, but we'll leave it at that. thanks kunt.um for the tickets.
3. the drunken fools coming down from perth and singapore to unite in a blazing alcoholic type glory. it was embarassing to say the least, but great fun at the same time :) photos on facebook to verify the madness
4. us celebrating sakai's 23rd at the apartment. it was good to catch up with everyone again. as everyone is now crazy busy, and all over the place creating all sorts of havoc. so it was good to shout at each other and be stupid and laugh gbb last night.

so seeing the year is coming to an end
all sorts of nonsensical activities are going on
from crazy parties, to closing the books, to moving departments, to everyone coming back to home base - i love december
ive been forced to clear my leave this year, as i still have days left over
i know right, especially since ive been travelling gbb
so im on leave thursday and friday

we've managed to sort of, maybe, kinda, nearly 60% finalised new years
so well done us :)
whatever it is, as long as the company is good and there is a truckload of alcohol, im sure that we will have a goddamn blast

xL

comment il allant à est

okay maybe now i want to be a french chain smoking bohemian
im officially in love with charlotte gainsbourg and marion cotillard
i was backdated and was overwhelmed by pharell & the boys from superbad
and i was using all my energy to be a backpacking-gun-toting-scuba-diver
but now i want to give that all up
i want to grow my hair so its long and stringy and dye it dirty brown
i want to chain smoke. all. the. time
i want to have a staple diet of cheese and wine
i want to buy baguettes and carry them around in a basket
i want to read le monde
and i want to throw myself into the siene
and live on the left bank
i want i want i want i want i want
i never ever wanted to go to france cos i heard the french were rude
but maybe i should move there, learn french and assimiliate into the culture
that would be dope
but knowing me, ill probably get there, want to then be a gangsta thug again and it will all just be a waste of time and money
considering the other day, i really wanted to be a skaterchick and wear vans and dye my hair the blackest black and constantly wear black eyeliner. yeah i know right.

but these two women define class and talent
they are just the most magnificent actors
i saw marion cotillard as edith piaf in la vie en rose earlier this year
and i was convinced that it was an old woman playing the part
she played it so well that i was freaked out
and charlotte gainsbourg was more mesmerising than gael garcia bernad in the silence of sleep
i wish i was french goddammit
then i could be a full on snob, eat well and be thin
life is so unfair sometimes

anyhooo back to reality
remember all my rants about getting my tattoo done
well i lied
it's not even completed yet
so yeah, ive been walking around like a fool with just an outline for a month plus and having to endure taunts of
"why, the pain that bad ah that you can't continue?"
no fuckers, its because ive had no time alright
im finally going to get it done today
before lina flies off to switzerland
i have to get it done today. in exactly 1 hour
its going to be so freaking gorgeous
and when its finished, i'll probably want to be a beach bum and open a scuba shack

its like the article i posted
so many damn opportunities to do everything and anything
that at the end of the day, it may not even be the best thing
everyone is going to suffer from multiple personality disorders

xL

kiss kiss bang bang

i have finally crossed off the last thing to do for 07
fucking efficient if you ask me
well my list wasnt too long to start with...i should have aimed to be more ambitious
maybe that should be on my 08 list

what happened in 07?
1. siem reap, cambodia
2. whitewater rafting
3. hanoi, vietnam
4. redang & tioman, malaysia
5. singapore
6. scuba diving
7. shenzhen, china
8. macau
9. shooting a gun
10. kick boxing

yeah okay, i should have done better, but i think ive completed quite a bit there
hanoi was still, hands down, the best place i hung out at this year
however, angkor wat & happy pizza takes a very close second place
i still have december, which could just entail all sorts of nonsense
shooting a gun was just bloody fucking fun
okay, i really thought that i was going to kill myself, freak accident style
like the recoil would've just been too nuts and thats it la
but it was crazy fun
hussy, anini and i were on some kinda high after that
we're going to now progress it even further and join the shooting club
i know right...talk about being trigger happy

the weekend saw us:
1. eating siew yoke min without even clubbing...hussy and i deemed it because we went club hopping the week before and were now paying for it. old la, at 23
2. mansion and 789 decked out in red
im too lazy to elaborate even further, maybe its because ive downloaded...
wait for it
wait for it
COOKING MAMA 2

thats right bitches
2007 is finally looking up...it pays to be simple

"Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once"
- superbad

xL

slap me in the face

so i was reading frankie which the child brought back from australia. and besides all the other articles about everything that has been written before because music and fashion does reinvent itself...there was this article by josh phillips entitled "great expectations"
and because it was so damn relevant and so damn "yes la, i feel that way"
i'm even gonna type it out for you fools to go "yes la" with me :D

"You've got a naturally high self-esteem - a by-product of being part of the best-educated, most technologically savvy generation alive. You might even look at your baby boomer parents with the slightest sense of pity. Now, don't get me wrong - they had it good, just not as good as you. They had choices, just not as many. They had education, just not as much. They had self-expectations, just not as high. But the flip side of a hot-shit generation like ours is the crippling effect that failed self-expectations can have when reality sets in.....
Be you at the tail end of generation X or the height of generation Y, you may feel like you were destined to do something bigger and better than you currently are. Our demographic doesn't fear the future, we don't worry about authority and we've never experienced economic recession, but we do seem to have one paralysing fear - mediocrity.......
We're at ends as to what the fuck we're actually meant to do with our lives. We've been brought up to believe we can do anything, be anything, and so you have this entire class of upwardly mobile people all striving to live the deam. But what if we can't? Brad Pitt's Tyler Durden said it best in the Fight Club: "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." - Josh Phillips, Frankie issue 20

wikipedia's explanation of:
generation x: a term used to describe generations in many countries around the world which were born between 1964 and 1980. there seems to be a whole collision of what they actually represent
generation y: to describe those children born between 1981–1995. to re-confirm the article above there is alot more other interesting reasons to why im this jaded and cynical at only 23 at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Y

my commentary:
jesus fucking christ, that explains it all then
im glad we're all feeling a little below par and like unaccomplished misfits
the bandwagon seems to be getting a little full

xL

it's not all black and white

so im seriously believing in fate now
after all my hesitations and according to some, pure paranoia
i got a call yesterday
in effect, it alleviated every single worry rushing through my mind
well, not 100% but it was a big step forward
and it happened right smack in the middle of me thinking about it
so holy shit right?

im not blogging about it because im not going to jinx it
and fucked if i want to jinx this like every other good thing in my life

im not being overly dramatic here
it is a serious act of fate, or some other energy
or maybe what they wrote in the secret holds true?
or maybe this is what happens when you start taking responsibility?

this is pretty exciting so im going to hold my breath
really
until my face turns blue and explodes into a million pieces
i will

"Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need" - grey's anatomy

xL

mary mary quite contrary

so of late ive been having immense internal conflict
and i really don't think ive experienced something like this before
im just swinging on a pendulum from one extreme to another
so i did some thinking
and that this conflict was because i decided to make a move
based on a decision based not wholely on me
which was really, a first
and you knew that, they knew that, i knew that
so i made a decision to end this conflict once and for all
to turn it around, and make my stay here next year mine
to own that decision
so the tears, the smiles, the laughter, the questions, the "oh fucks", the rights and the lefts - they would be all mine and it feels better that way
so of course, i had to drastically change that up...again, you know, just for the drama
i told the rosebud thanks but no thanks to the new car
i know, my heart broke knowing i wont be smelling new leather car seats
and told her to instead let me do what i do best and run away next year
so this plan B was conjured up out of the blue
as many of my other plans
so at the moment, summer 08 has been extended to winter
jesus fucking tittie christ hey

but who knows next week plans may change again
but fo sho something better come out of L rejecting a new car

so the weekend saw:
1. mansion on friday with anini and long legs : mansion is a damn good looking place with silver couches and a spacious layout, however not impressed with them not having any white wine, when their menu boasts 4 pages of selection. as anini said "you had one chance to impress us..." whatever it is, people always remember the bad things and hardly ever the good.

2. a whole day of wedding events on saturday with a little contact sport in the middle:
for a wedding, it wasn't as romantic as i expected...the food was pretty dope though. so thumbs up for that.
kick boxing for 1.5 hours left me rushed with adrenalin and led me signing up for one month of people encouraging me to whack stuff. really. fucking. hard. it was a cathartic release because it feels damn good, just hitting something :)

3. 21/the outside of mansion/atrium on saturday night with hassi. after being told that mansion was 'closed' -_- a long island beach tea or something saved the night.

4. a very sore L permanently attached to the sofa on sunday. the kickboxing took a whole lot out of me as it has been a while since i've worked my upper body that much. my wrists, my palms and even my fingers were sore. sakit GBB dude

5. me starting a new affair with my love for words. so no, i don't just write here on this blog. i typed for a good 4 hours yesterday and it was really satisfying, it was almost as if i had all this inside me pented up and it was all purged yesterday. it made me forget things, feel things i've boxed away for awhile and gave me a whole lot of clarity. it was a breath of fresh air

to top this rather blah monday post off:

happy burdday gayve my love (for tomorrow lah)
we tried to have a great one with you on saturday night but you were so wasted that we just let you be instead :) you got your hot men in little clothes this year so next year, i hope that you find a naked hot man willing to please you in all different areas ;)
hey, i was going with mental and emotional...what were you thinking?
*insert mass representation of love here*

xL

plan B: twisting my way out; take back your ball and chain

ive realised that its been awhile since ive gone freefall
and i want to do that again

"dance like nobody's watching
love like you've never been hurt
sing like nobody's listening
live like it's heaven on earth" says mark twain

and the bloody saddest thing ever
is that the only times i feel alive is with them and not with you
and i finally understand why i never wanted to settle
why i always rejected the comfortable
so i dont have to feel dead like this
as if im just slowly cruising from day to day, month to month
with no firm plans, therefore no direction
and okay, if ive made the wrong turn
then ive got plan B
ive always had plan B, because with you, you need a plan B
and plan B isn't as sweet, but it will do...for the meantime

at 23, all i want to do is run the streets of different cities
and feel invincible
and dance as if i was born with rhythm
but maybe never sing, cos i know better
and love as if that love will never hurt or betray me
to love, like that love will love me back for all im worth
and it will be okay to wake up in a 3 euro a night hostel
and not have proper meals
and hitch rides into the most remote regions
and run off by myself, to think, to learn and explore
and finally learn to love myself the way i was always supposed to

and okay, maybe you think, at 23
and i thank god im conflicting at 23, rather than 33
we're supposed to know already
we're supposed to have it all set out in our minds
our freaking 5 year plan
and maybe im damn wrong for having a plan B
maybe plan A was the right plan, the best plan

we'll see then huh

"Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People...they don't write anymore - they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English" - says hank, californication

L with no fucking xox

ni hao ni hao

so i is back from china
and it was a dope, but rather fast and rushed trip
left friday morning and came back monday afternoon
you go figure it out
and this was our schedule
friday: left kl at 6am + 1 hour of air asia delay. arrived shenzhen at 12pm. dim sum (shao, you would have freaked the fuck out man...it was that good) and shopping till 5.30pm. the never ending journey to the hills of which we arrived at 1am. whoa right?
saturday: rather quick tour of the orchids, the golf course, the lakes and the mineral water factory - i know right. back down to shenzhen arriving at 8pm. dinner & totals passed out
sunday: macau...that was pretty dope cos i won money gambling and the food kicked ass (read: portuguese egg tarts & the best fried wan tans ever.really.ever)
monday: back to kl

so im pretty freaking exhausted now and im back at work
i think im coming down with a cold as well
but nevertheless the last week was pretty goddamn eventful
i saw him which was pretty nice, although rather hectic
then off to china
i dont think that i can make it as a full time jetsetter
i would like to, but i think my body will crash big time

i would like to elaborate on how much china has changed ever since i stepped foot there 10 years ago (thanks rosebud), but my brain is pretty fuzzy at the moment
i can only do very basic tasks, like walk and talk (but not at the same time)
this doesnt feel as bad as when i got back from tioman
but its on the same level of stupidity and incompetence

productivity level today : 5

xL

fabulousity

so hussy's 23rd was a blast
it was a great night with great company and great food and booze
i think it can come down to one of the best nights that ive had in a while
of just talking shit and catching up
it was like an extended mid-week-maddness session with extra peeps
:D
well done hussy, i guess it was worth the looooong drive to hulu ampang
remember, it was done only because it was your birthday
so dont think that kunt.um and i have gotten soft at our old age

so just a small update of which anyone of whom matters to me already knows...
ive been looking at other jobs
ive been asked to jump by two companies since ive started
and that was hella swell
and ive applied to another two
all have offered and ive turned them all down
why why why you ask?
because my current company, has finally given me my increment!!!
and that couldn't feel any better really
just being recognised that you are worth a hella lot more than you're getting now
so ive decided to stay put for the time being
until a job that i deem worthy lands in my lap
and them two deem that i have an unusual way of wanting to be happy
so i've decided to stay comfortable for the mean time

and today, i finally get my tattoo all done
it will be COMPLETE
and i can finally show those across the oceans what it looks like
so happy now small eyes? you get to finally see it

im on freaking cloud 9 at the moment
its like all this craziness that has been happening around me is falling into place
however, there is still one client that is still rather nasty
and i wish she would kneel over and die ASAP
whuvver. we get one miracle at a time
im off to china on friday @ 6am i.know.right
that means KLIA @4.45am
which also means her brochure can die a natural death in my absence
fucktards

xL
i'll see you peeps after china
and dayve? you keep practicing "the-synchronized-dancing-within-a-confined-space" without me okay, i expect that when i get back, you'll give 300% :D

its cool to be anti-cool

to hussy:
HAPPY 23RD TOMORROW!
MAY YOU HAVE ANOTHER FABULOUS YEAR OF....
scuba-diving/sky-diving/not keeping your mouth shut/driving mika to his full potential/showing them fools how to drive on the road/pushing the limits of every.single.thing.you.do/grey goose & belvederes/hot men (maybe you'll have to leave kl for this)/and hopefully, finding what you really want in your career, either that, or take over the banking industry.whuvver.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

_______________________________________
i believe this should be on every.single.person's.playlist
more some than others :)

Smile
Like you've got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do
There's always someone out there cooler than you
I know that's hard to believe
But there are people you meet
They're into something that is too big to be
Expressed
Through their clothes
And they'll put up with all the poses you'll throw
And you won't
Even know that they're not sizing you up
They know your mom fucked you up
Or maybe let you watch too much TV
But they'll still look in your eyes
To find the human inside
You know there's always something in there to see
Beneath
The veneer
Not everybody made the list this year
Have a beer
Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
But there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the shit but you won't be here for long
Oh, there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there's always someone cooler than you
Now that I've got the disease
In a way I'm relieved'
Cause I don't have to stress about it like you do
I might just get up and dance
Or buy some acid-wash pants
When you don't care then you got nothing to lose
And I won't
Hesitate
'Cause every moment life is slipping away
It's ok
Life is wonderful
Life is beautiful
We're all children of
One big universe
So you don't have to be a chump
- ben folds' 'there's always someone cooler than you'

yeah okay
im super can die bored at work
its a period where i just have to wait
andden everything comes crashing all at once
and i end up drowning once again
so drama. i know. i like.

and in addition to the events of november:
4. dayve's 23rd...your theme should be prom night...happy? happy? happy?
5. KANCILS tomorrow :D

xL

your incompetence....

in·com·pe·tence Pronunciation[in-kom-pi-tuhns] Pronunciation Key - noun
- the quality or condition of being incompetent; lack of ability.

1. dwindles my faith in mankind
2. makes me pray that darwin's theory proves true and that i will experience it one day
3. pisses the living hell out of me
4. allows me to understand that lack of efficiency that plagues you
5. makes me wonder about what is stored in the space where a normal human stores a brain
6. would never allow me to trust you with your choices
7. makes me second guess you time and time and time again
8. restores my acceptance and belief in hitmen
9. makes me hope that my children will never have to meet yours
10. allows my lack of creative ability to grow in planning ways to kill you off

im not anti-wedding, im anti-stupid

xL

certified

wooohoooo!
finally, after all the procrasination and the mishaps
im finally a certified open water diver!
and it wasn't as i thought, where you get it and like "blah"
i am genuinely happy that i got it and the time off was fabulous
it was such a great and well-deserved break
and although it was only one night, i think we all came back rejuvenated
i mean, just the sound of the ocean and the blue sea and the hot sun
:D
what else do you want in life really?
i was contemplating throwing everything in and setting up shop there

and woohoo we did see nemo, over and over again
and turtles and we had a school of goat fish just literally swim around us
it was like whooaaa cos whilst thousands were swimming around us,
we just heard the vibrations of their fins
of course, i was literally staring, super kampung-like
so im happy to say that the rush and the pure exhaustion was worth it
we were literally running on 2 hours sleep on saturday when we did our first 3 dives
and by the time 2 beers were consumed at 10pm, we almost passed out walking to the room
and hussy was a fab driver, although it was intense on the trunk road at 4.30am
seeing strange lights and driving on almost no petrol
but she did an awesome job, so thanks much hussy

so now im back here at my desk, totally not focusing
my head still feels like we're on the ocean cos it doesnt seem to be seeing straight
im suffering because i have about 40 sandfly bites all over my body
however, i got a tan :D so the itchiness seems to be worth it
so what are our next plans to achieve the rush again?
SKYDIVING
uh huh, so we're planning that for december :D

so whats in store for november then?
1. hussy's monochrome 23rd on the 3rd
2. china from the 9th till the 12th of november
3. i want to go to sipadan but we'll see how work pans out

ps: smalleyes, if you want to do it, we'll teman you to an island!

xL - a certified OWD :D

think what?.....

so we're going we're going we're goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooing!
thanks to hussy, cos she's driving....we get to goooooooooooooooooo
the last few days have been....
shall we fly/drive/take the bus/swim/hitchhike
now we're going!!!!!!!
2 full days of sun and sea and sun and more sea
and this time, we get to go down and find nemo and squirt and dory
:D :D :D :D

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

im just happy that i might possibly get a tan

xL

snap crackle pop !

so we are supposed to go scuba diving this weekend
i was all amped for the sun, the sea and the blue blue waters
but then, the ferry fire tragedy happened
and now everything has been thrown into shambles
i dont even know where to start pointing blame
warrggggghhhh
now i dont even know when i'll ever find nemo
but nevertheless, this weekend has to involve some sun
its been raining crazy mofo GBB over the last week
personally, id rather contend with the thunderstorms rather than the haze that plagued us this time last year :)

i evidently missed the blogger environmental day thing
so what am i doing for the environment?
refusing to use plastic bags unless i have to, switching off all switches if unnecessary and have also switched to using blackle.com which is the environmentally friendly version of google
which i think you guys should convert too, because it does make sense
hey, at least its something!
and as we all know, im a big fan of the 3x a week hair wash
:D

kunt.um had her birthday yesterday in singapore
happy 23rd donkfus
and we celebrated doing what we do best on saturday night
we hit asian heritate row and had opinions about every.single.person
no one escaped unscathed
the 'opinions' that flew around were:
1. oh my god, how can they get that fat? which led on to i dont know dude, if i'm that fat, i would not be wearing that...how do they breathe?...do you think she can see her toes?
2. oooooo D list celeb!
3. dude, so like you know that person over there...yeah so, i heard right....
4. skanky ho slut
5. skanky ho slut
6. what the fuck is she wearing
and a numerous amount of other terms that if i put up here,
my ass would probably be hauled to court quick fast
and no, duh, we dont judge

i really honestly have nothing of substance to say on this damn blog
its really just for me to pass time cos its the end of the year
and every single thing is slowing down
they should be done with this year already and lets all move on to 2008
i believe that ive come to look at my blog as my own personal diary
so that when im 70 and cant remember who my children are*
i can look back to the days when i thought i knew it all

oh and i havent had the heart yet to wear my shoes
i think that they are too dope for the streets of kl
especially now when the rain is falling GBB and the drains are overflowing
sexy times right?

you bring out the fuck you in me - heylia james

xL

*if i ever for some reason decide to conceive a spawn into this godforsaken planet of environmental/mental decay & of britney spears flashing her vajayjay

so I had to did, what I had to did

officially in love with common again
he's just gots it
i think im going to go through my ghetto phase again
:)

went to the pavillion yesterday for luncheon
and it was pretty nice
could possibly send me into poverty
and they have stores that have never touched kl soil before!
so no doubling up on what the next mall has
they have...marcjacobs, alexandermcqueen, kiehls, paulfrank, juicy couture, shanghaitang & godiva ...all exceeding my current bank balance

im seriously bored at work
there is work but then again, its not at a crazy pace
so i have time to sit down here and write absolute crap
that will entertain no one else but me :D
lucky you for reading through my nonsense

ive been watching oodles of american tv
especially at the moment, brothers and sisters
and i swear, each episode they consume at least 5 bottles of wine
which leads me to want wine
im going to go with the theory of subliminal advertising
rather than how easily influenced i am by television
who am i kidding? kunt.um eats a big burger after GG

I walked in the crib, got two kids
And my baby mama late (uh oh uh oh uh oh)
So I had to did, what I had to did
Cause I had to get (duh-ough duh-ough duh-ough)
I'm up all night, getting my money right
Until the blue and white (po po! po po! po po!)
Now the money coming slow, but a least a ni**a know
Slow motion better than (no-oh! no-oh! no-oh!)

xL

dont die on me

so my trusty ol' ipod of only a year has decided to freeze on me
the screen isn't blank, there is no unsmiley face
its just goddamn frozen
and yes technogeeks, i have restored her
i re-uploaded. i re-installed. i re-ed every.freaking.thing
and now, its probably even worse than before
the ipod goddess has shunned me into freaking misery
and no, i dont think that im being a drama queen okay
i take her everywhere with me and i mean everywhere
the gym. work. the car. shopping. manicuring
and now....no more
*big motherfucking sigh*
and yes duh, im going to the ipod shop during lunch to figure it all out
_________________________________________

raya was uber lazy
i didnt do much at all
i think it had to be the laziest consecutive 3 days of my life
im nearly done with brothers & sisters, which is just crazy drama
i went to the gym twice
i hung out with g-ma enough to make me the golden grandchild
other than that, the only time i socialised was at the dvd marathon
and at la bods , where thankfully, our friendships are still intact after the monopoly session
i felt uber unproductive :D

on the other hand...i cant believe archat made it onto the bbc news
what the flying...but then again, given the context it was in, no one is really surprised

i need to now go spend time with my ipod and persuade her out of this state
and yes, im at work...and no, evidently it doesnt take priority in these trying times

xL

so now what?

so i was reading hussy's post on how we used to be so young
and im sure that we've all learnt a heck of a lot from when we were 13
it's true, we still do yearn to go back to when things were simpler
when our only problems were finding ways to rebel
and figuring how we're going to get through school and how necessary sejarah was
and now here we are, our 20s, our so called youth
where it's time to figure it all out and carve our paths to immortality
where we have to just know it by now
know what our 5 year plan is, when to get that promotion, when to pro-create
i guess like every life lesson, there isn't a manual that you look up
so we've all stepped into the realm of the workforce and now what?
what security has our degree thrown out for us to fall back on?
or is it really true that whatever you've learnt is thrown out the window
and common sense & hard work really now has to play a part

sometimes i guess it all gets too complex and you just want to sit back
and take a deep breath and have a fucking good look
i don't think there should be a manual
cos i think that you have to take things as they are
and make the best of where you stand right now
i mean, character building and all that shit right?
i take great comfort in the fact that you guys are all walking the same path
maybe at different times and degrees, but yet, the same direction
of that uncertainty and hesitance but nevertheless, taking the plunge anyway
of when you have to hold your breath and just jump in
i think that we've all made that leap in some way or another
and we're all still alive
die die la right? :D

___________________________________________________

so what's happened in the last week and the days to come?
1. raya is here! hussy and kunt.um are off the fasting bandwagon as of 7-ish tonight!
2. raya is here! so we have 3 days off to laze around with dvds, to tan, to eat, to drink and to rest our tired working souls...esp gayve who's worked his ass off
3. pher is officially off to be a singaporean food scout tomorrow
4. im nearly there with my scuba license...one more class and off we go at the end of the month
5. work is nicely paced...as it is at the end of the year...raya/deepavali/christmas...thats right
6. tv is back on. we've got greys/house/californication/ugly betty to entertain us...along with gossip girl...yeah to all those haters that laughed when i went to the young adult section of borders...i recognised skanky greatness!

so selamat hari raya fools...enjoy...if not come and hang with me...i'll be surrounded with dvds and alcohol and food and sun :D

xL

the new love

so i made it to the gardens on saturday night with kunt.um
which was pretty ambitious
because going to a mall on the weekend is just dumb
and going there during the night, precisely, buka puasa time,
well..that just takes the cake for stupidity
:D


however, it was like the gods of shopping decided to bless me
for visiting their altar of worship
and blessed me with the most gorgeous pair of shoes ever
it was like love at first sight
and the thing is, i never ever buy sneakers
well i used to, in melbies, because it was like the most comfortable thing
and you know, winter and rain and shizzle like that
and i probably haven't bought a pair since then
so lo and behold, my new love

i know right *sigh*

xL