detoxification of the heart

so xmas has finally passed
the climax to it was far more enjoyable than the actual event
counted down over ham, wine and borat...thrilling and exciting are the words to be used
it was a nearly 5 day celebration after all
so when it hit 12 o'clock, being sober and not face first in the toilet was a good thing

thursday was at sanctuary which wasn't that fab cos i felt the cocktails were pathetically weak but had great company of which i haven't had for nearly 6 months
friday was the office party
which was a bloody laugh and a half
i physically defied my liver to get drunk, get hungover, get drunk and hungover again
starting at 5pm wasn't the best idea
saturday was a pleasure getting stuck in traffic to get my phone and then to get 6 fat hams which led yue's car to smell of RM1,200 worth of pork/as small eye's said "angmoh charsiew"
progressing onto velvet which was a high on its own
sunday's xmas eve was comfortably uneventful
monday was nursing the hangover and physical exhaustion at home and laundry with short stuff, fagface and yue of which i suffered a little this morning

they did say that christmas was 12 days
and yes, i know that its 12 days progressing to christmas, so i have about 8 days of festivity that has yet to be claimed :)

new years plans have ab-so-lute-ly bombed
i dont plan to resurrect it as i have passed it onto short stuff
the original camwhore has plans to do jaagerbombs, not caring where
short stuff and i will go along with that ill supply the redbull bitches
either that or to yue's pool in the middle of kl
or.........
i'll figure it out with the time comes....we still have about 4 odd days
of which im going to be buzzily busy
i have a boxingday bbq tonight, dinner with my fave 7th of may person on weds, tapas&wine @ bodega with recently returned beijing ho on thursday & passed out on friday

it's time to start getting shitfaced

xL

escojo no cuidar

so apparently the food at nero vivo aint that great
& short stuff is now going to plan our new years
*hands over all stress*
i choose not to care anymore
:)

i was looking thru all my photos from spain yesterday
cos im bored to tears at work
and oh my god
how i long to go back
just to not care at all, drink till im blind, eat till im stuffed and tan till im black
and do it all over again the next day

a few things have happened over the last 48 hours significant enough for me to be affected by it
its been a sick cycle of the same thing over and over again
there has been enough of shouting, crying and saying vindictive things
enough of the "what if's" enough of the "maybe-s" enough of the "we could've-s"
enough of the assumption of hope
enough of the skeletons
enough of hoping "that things will eventually work out"
enough of living for the future
so maybe its time to put an end to it
c'est la vie
its left me a little numb
not really caring, hurting or even willing to acknowledge
i know that denial is not part of the 5 step process of getting better
but i'd like to live in my whatever land at the moment
and drink till im blind, eat till im stuffed and tan till im black

anyways, ive thrown myself into a number of things to do from now on
and i will definitely die of exhaustion by christmas day
so merry christmas and if you dont hear from me by the 26th,
well....just leave it till next year then

xL

jack and jill

so id like a vote
ive already put up the two places of which i think is appropriate
i know someone who first-handedly went to nero vivo and thinks the food is not too bad but the ambience is so gorgeous and will rock you to the core his words, not mine
so lets pay for the ambience and make like models do and go anorexic and pick at our food
i dont know about bijan
however i can hear in my head the complaints of---
"you know we can get this at the mamak for like 1/10th of the price right?"
"my mother can make this"
"if like they gave me enough to serve an entire kampung then it will be worth it la"
so u know where im leaning towards
so please leave a comment with your restaurant of choice
and ill do the bookings
terimakasih

i watched crash last night
i feel so blah-ed now
it was so good in a realistic sense, whereby you then realise that its reality so that will confirm make you depressed
&
i had the worse sleep
kept on waking up thinking i had to go work
which is bloody stupid L, who the hell goes to work at 3.35am/5.56am/7.33am/8.30am?
so now im like a walking zombie
the only thing that perked me up today was that i got paid motherfuckers
im all cashed up to go and spend it on something ridiculously expensive and totally nonsensical
:)
wheeeeee

xL

green bamboos and red cherry blossoms

i just watched 'goodbye boys' by bernard chauly
eggsellent
they had all these songs
which we used to sing in school
well..in the pathetic attempt at the music education that they gave us
and all the songs
that we used to chant under the blistering sun before sports day
:)
damn nice la
all those memories that we have tucked away, that never come up unless provoked
i nearly cried :)

so i can only hope that these songs wont be replaced
by kids downloading songs onto itunes
and humming away anti-socially whilst trying to block the outside world

because at the end of it
you realise that its the people and the experiences that have made us what we are today
the "selamat pagi cikgu's" in the morning
and the "terima kasih's" at the end
the sweat that was poured before air-cons were installed
the broken chairs and the desks that threaten to give way
at every single fat text book that we cram inside
instead of taking them home to do our homework
and us, running to school in the morning
to copy from the smartest kid in the class
and the teacher, failing to pick up why, each of us have the same answer

im glad that i grew up here instead of somewhere else
cos you realise that at the end of it
that we cant compare our upbringing to what they have in movies
or what enid blyton has written in her books
that we only had what was passed down to us
from the generations before us
and to that, im thankful for

xL

hop scotch

so its narrowed down to these two places...

1. bijan
2. nero vivo

both on jalan ceylon

both are next to each other but in the same compound

different house for different restaurant

they both look gorgeous and are set apart from the main area in ceylon hillis
and yes slutface, if we really must, we can go to the green man after that

but then again, alot of things look pretty good when you are dividing 30+ chicken wings between 3 ppl on a friday night....
ah, being 22...its rather sweet

can la wei = it is possible

so i have a long weekend
and another long weekend after that
and another long one after that
how to work you tell me?

so i've narrowed it down to (suburbs only cos think what? i have lots of time ah?)
1. ceylon hills - google map it la :P
2. this jln off jalan maarof - opus that area...
3. the westin - because prego's treated me so nicely when i was there
4. ceylon hills
5. we rent an apartment at the ascott, cook dinner (thats right bitches) and bring wine... this ascott thing better be decided by tuesday next week or forget it

why L? why KL? why you so stubborn? never fucking learn issit? eh, you don't know what jam is ar? can u not be a lemming? can't u think of a quieter place? bbq can ar? liddat then i'll make my own plans ler...eh, mamak only la...

WHY?

cos the only bloody suggestion i see is hassi's PD...which is good suggestion *thumbs up short stuff*

im going to have a look at ceylon hills this weekend. i lub it la...i lub it muchos....
and the place near jln maarof? its between opus and attic :P

peace out and remember me when you're buying christmas presents as the one who saved ur new years :P

xL

feliz navidad...now concentrate on making me happy

im disgustingly bored in the office
mind you, after stating this....the work is going to somehow magically pile up
and ill be whining about my lack of free time
whatever la
i'll never get it right

so here's is my wishlist of 06
and considering i live in my own little reality, all these material goods are attainable in my mind
so i dont want to hear crap about my being extravagantly stupid
i like la :P

1. a huge loft apartment that takes up an entire floor overlooking the entire klang valley with its own private swimming pool
2. a black maserati coupe with the number plate L75...just so i can be pimpin'
3. black fette sheets with an obscenely high thread count
4. a huge villa in the hills of barcelona..just cos
5. to own a huge media conglomerate so i can take over the world...rupert murdoch, please move aside
6. to own an island...either in french polynesia or somewhere in the med (im not fussed here)... basically a piece of property in italy, spain, LA, new york, gay paris, melbourne, and a few in kl
7. my own private jet to take me anywhere in the world, at any time...
8. ooodles and bucketloads of money

por que no?

or

on a slightly more realistic note ... pfft ... as if that won't come true anyway ;P

1. the gucci holder for my ipod (its getting scratched severely)
2. jewellery from gucci's new line
3. ralphy (as in my dog, not ralph lauren...however if you can kidnap him and make him design a line just for me and ralphy, ill be equally as gratious)
4. bcbg's new line of dresses (2 or 3 will be fine- especially the black and white ones)
5. a year's supply of books (preferbly borders, cos the selection of fiction at mph totally shits me these days)
6. coach's signature stripe accordian wallet
7. a pimpin' new years celebration with all my darlings, fab food and fab wine...because it's been awhile hasn't it?

i know im going to get bitch slapped nicely for asking for all this...after all, isn't it only just money ;)

but seriously my dunggus...what are the plans for new years? can we go someplace fabulous, have a long table of excellent food and wine...to drink and be merry...with lots of love and kisses?

considering im free till no extent at the moment..ill be researching places with new year dinners and all that jazz...ill be posting up only 5 places of interest (well to me of course, considering i dont see anyone else doing anything) and i would like a vote..ill book it...ill even book escorts if need be ;)

lets make this a fab new years okay? not some rush to the top of bangsar hill to somehow try to catch a glimpse of fire in the sky?

xL

vanish if you wish

so i was with rosebud today at one utama
just cos we are suckers
and goddamn, the toffeenut latte concoction at starbucks looked terribly tempting
so in we went
she made me pay of course

so starbucks are evidently rather adamant on cashing in on this toffenut craze like its going out of fashion
i obliged and eagerly threw my money into their pockets of course, fuelling their quest to conquer the world by drowning us in caffeine
by ordering two drinks and a muffin
so this little malay dude behind the counter was so nervous
must've been his first day or something

and he asked

"do you want me to hot your muffin?"
all wide eyed and innocent

i nearly died-ed laughing right there and then

sigh
either im terribly dirty minded or the kampungs better start education their little ones about the real world....either that, or start installing computers with connection to the internet

xL

oh hello, where has all that weight gone?

iiiiimmmmm fffffffffrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee
(im free)

im finally free
my campaign is nearly done
it was a shocking last week of no sleep, shouting, fighting and evil eyes
but we managed to pull through and none of us have collapsed
*pats myself on the back*
:)
im crossing my fingers that my life will return to the normal 10am to 6pm routine

however...
the christmas committee list has come out for the office christmas party
-_-
my name was on it
as co-mc (master of ceremony for you ignorants)
oh the shock and the horror
ive whined about this to small eyes and slutface already
and of course, it was my fault...i talk too much
now see what happens?
i better start penning my resignation letter for the day after
cos god knows what will happen when i go and start announcing things after a few glasses of wine
*cries*

i know my blog has gotten boring and dull
and small eye's blog is going to shit all over mine soon
but i dont care
why? cos i dont have to :P

well im not going to sit here and contemplate the lack of pictures and the lame ass formatting of my blog..i mean, ppl are going to start thinking i care...which i dont
it doesn't matter anyway, i guest blog there :)
im off to brave the hordes of disgusting little things they call children and disgusting old things they call aunties at 1 utama now
the huge sale just started im really asking for it aren't i?
i have a reason to go
my chachi is leaving me
and her farewell is on tonight at 7ate9
so i have to get her something kick ass and memorable
so she will remember me when she's in the land of assholes
and that she will never find another chachi like me. ever.

people are slowly trickling in from australia
i dont think i realised how much i missed them until i saw them
i get to see my germz again tonight and i saw shanti the other night
WILL THE REST OF YOU GET YOUR ASSES BACK A LITTLE FASTER ?

xL

the devil may care

i am officially going to collapse any moment now
seriously, im just waiting for a darkness to come over me
and to wake up in some public *ew* hospital
*ew*

i dont even want to go into how much hassle the client is giving
actually, hassle ain't the word for it
shit
yes, shit is more appropriate
this shit is going to be the reason to why half of my team is going to work well into the am for
bloody misguided fools
so please dont even bother trying to contact me until wednesday
when recover from the impact of hell on earth
that is, if i recover

the funniest thing is....
i like it
i mean, i dont love it, and by gosh i'll complain about it....
but i dont feel the need to throw the towel in
i like the hustle of it all, it makes me feel productive
and i've fallen into a somewhat happy, satisfying balance of work and play
and it helps that nearly all my friends are in the same or similar industry too
which i have yet to decide if its good or bad
small eyes and i know that we need a few more doctors and lawyers in the equation

however saying that...i am physically and mentally exhausted from the last 7 days
from the kancils to 10am colour proof session the next day to velvet to mifa
im about to collapse

whoever said work hard and play harder evidently was on drugs
and didnt have to combat the lousy feeling of exhaustion

thats why im here at my laptop, typing away happily at 6pm on a sunday evening
rather than in a bar drinking the demise of the weekend
and by the way, after going to the shows at mifa, i have a newfound respektah for malaysian designers. they really do have so much to offer and have such brilliant minds. it was hardly a waste getting up at 10am today to catch the show

so there is nothing much i can do
but to toast with my water bottle to the next 7 days
*sigh*

xL

round round baby round round

im being allowed to guest blog @ lowshaolyn.com
but then i realised, how can i guest blog when i dont even blog here?
well i do blog here, just not that freakin often
i dont even want to go into how busy i have been this week
im only at home to shower and sleep
hey, at least i shower right? thats a good thing :P

but then i realised, im realising a whole lot of things for those who say im not perceptive
that maybe its a good thing im blogging there
on her little piece 'of internet real estate'
so one day, we can becoming advertising moguls and takeover the world
and advertise the way its supposed to be done
with ingenuity, ethics *cough* and to actually make an impact by grabbing its balls and running with it

well im off
i have work to do
and id like to start blogging small eyes, i really would, if the msg stop coming up as
"you are not permitted....."
help me help you small eyes

xL

how we operate the detroit swing 66

Happy birthday slutface! i know, a day early, but nevertheless :) may all your wishes of hot men in little clothes and tight asses come true :P i couldn't ask for a more appropriate partner to bitch with, to listen to me whining and to hatch plans for hapsap to dress as a policewoman with... to many more excellent ideas and to even more hot men :)

im happy again
i got my vanity fairs
my collection now doesn't have a gaping hole screaming for 554 anymore
i got a dude to save me a copy every month
which will save me the hassle of running from borders (who's selection sux) to mph to any newsstand that looks like it carries some sort of international magazine selection
:)
whoever said that im high maintenance has seriously got it all wrong

im trying out this whole simplistic lifestyle thing
the whole water off the back, not getting too involved in politics kinda thing
its working for me
my skin looks better and my hair has more volume
and all i worry about now is who the hell is going to feed me dinner at night
cos we all know fo sho that rosebud does not cook

went to a place called bubble lounge in ceylon hills last night
and it was gorgeous
something you get out of melbourne
and there were all these little cafes and restaurants around it that all looked so chic
and there weren't hordes of ppl running up and down the street or shouting down the mobile or just being the rude kl ppl that we normally are
it had such a chilled atmosphere
of where u could just sit and watch the world go by
and u can almost forget that you're only a stone's throw away from alor, prostitute capital of kl

i sound like a travel writer now
maybe that should be my next occupation
combining my two loves of travel and writing
duh *smacks head*

well im out to have a pre bday feast with dayvey at chillis now
i mean, where else right?

xL

as he goes left and you stay right

you know how when you're underwater for the longest time
and then you come up to the surface
and the first breath you take?
i feel like that now
and it should be accompanied with some sort of relief and joy
but no
i feel all blah-ed cos i know that this shit is never ending

its like it starts
then when you think it stops
you look up and there's a pile of crap just waiting to be dropped onto your head again

so small eyes and i went to bodega to make ourselves feel better
you know, cos misery does love company
and for that small second, with the chocolate tart, tiramisu, ice cream, sangria and an excellent band....there was this glimmer that all will be right
then the next day came and it started all over again

WARGH

im so not cut out to work im telling you
i want to run away to some secluded beach
and open some boat company that will ferry tourists around
and i wont care about all the materialistic things in life
cos all that i'd need would be the sun, the sea, maybe a whole lot of home made rum, cigarettes, gorgeous sarongs, a hammock, a hut with a huge 4 poster bed with that mosquito net thing, a day bed....

oh who the hell am i kidding?
i cant run away....i do need my material goods
maybe when ive worked in this god forsaken rat race for another 2 decades...
i could toy with the idea of retiring at 40 probably through scamming and manipulating
and get myself a beach house

that sounds sweet but another 2 decades of this? i've barely lasted 3 months

xL

on rings, flings and other things

i got my baby back
she went all the way to penang for a long assed holiday
and now she's home
all brand spankin new
and working like a charm
purrrrrr
i hope she missed me as much as i missed her

i just watched jerry maguire
and i cried
i swear i dont remember tearing when i watched it the first time
all i remember was the whole "you had me at hello" line that made me swoon
and giggle like a school girl...which i was
but then again, the first time was nearly a decade ago
so maybe i didnt quite understand the complexities of relationships
and boy oh boy do i understand them now.........

i would like to go back to when i believed this is how it worked
girl meets boy. boy meets girl. boy and girl fall in love. boy and girl get married and move to surburbia and have a ton of babies without feeling the economic pinch. boy and girl turn old together. boy and girl never fight. boy and girl will always be each other's number 1.

-_-
now?
lets just chuck in a few realistic problems and concepts...you know, just for the fun of it :)

"why don't you spend enough time with me?"
"where do you actually see this going?"
"what exactly do you mean by that?"
"when you say break, do you mean break up?"
"who was that?"
"we're not getting married till i get my pre-nup"
"do you actually grasp the concept of quality time?"
"lets talk"
"omfg, can u stop crying?"
"i really am quite sick of your cooking"
"you really do seem like you are from another planet"

no b, this is not directed at you, so don't go all sensitive on me...

maybe it was like that before, but then again, who's to say that they didnt have problems of their own?
i am hardly one that should say anything on this matter
as this matter of a healthy, strong, stable (which is hard when i myself am a little unstable) relationship does seem quite foreign to me
oh my god, why did i even open this can of worms?

ill leave you to it
i have two pizzas in front of me
stupid goddamn period really
i turn into my own worst enemy with my emotions and hunger pangs flying all over the place

xL

ps: alcohol consumption this week (yes, i mean the whole entire 7 days) -- 1 beer
show me a person that said i was weak and ill show you someone who evidently doesn't know me

a serving of a pair of balls, with a shot of testosterone on the side

i really dislike being a chick
i go from being super duper fucking happy to crappy in less than one second
i go to bed grumpy and wake up happy
i know that ive committed enough sins in my short span on earth
but dammit, god is really spiting me at the moment
he picks about 4 days a month to be very malicious towards me

i can eat a horse
ill cry over the fact that my hair won't grow any faster
ill bitch that its 5pm when there really isnt much i can do about it
ill plan the death of someone over a nasty look that they've given me
ill stab someone verbally over something so miniscule, ill laugh about it whilst stabbing them
i dont laugh
i dont smile
i dont like being social
and my small pathetic ability to be sympathetic is upped to being non-existent

im going into isolation from the outside world this whole week
and it does kinda help considering im already broke
and it does kinda help considering i have 4 gigs worth of tv to watch at home

boo to being so sensitive to my hormones
i really wish i had a pair of balls
i swear, everything would be made so much easier
i would be so cut throat i swear

even if i accepted this whole hormonal thing,
i would much prefer to even feel motherly and cry over puppies and weddings and buy laura ashley bedsheets *hee hee germz*
rather than feel like im going to turn into a serial killer at any given moment

anyhoo, not much i can do either than to bitch and whine
so take note of when these kinda posts are coming and and start avoiding me based on this 31 day cycle :)

xL

adorarlo para siempre; nunca aislar

im procrasinating by blogging
im supposed to be at the gym bodybalancing
pfft
i shouldn't have done this whole blog thing
now i feel the pressure to come up with witty things to say
or even subjects of actual importance that commands me writing about it
and i cant keep on writing about my alcoholic ways
cos that would inadvertently be broadcasting that im dependent on the substance
which i really quite am
but i still love my nicotine so much more though
*sigh*
evidently, i need my little addictions to keep me chugging on

and my life isn't at all depressing
its pretty effing sweet actually
and i believe the best writing comes out of a tortured soul
like alanis in the 90s
not current-alanis-who-is-shacking-up-with-ryan-hot-stuff-reynolds

the only thing that is actually bugging me is that how absent rosebud has been
its gotten to the extent of when she is home, i feel uncomfortable
she's off again tomorrow
and off again in two weeks
talk about the perfect dysfucntional family of 3

mother: hangs out with a bunch of psychotic pre-menapausal women who encourages her 'alternative' ways of raising her children;travels everywhere and at any given moment;is very loud; is very temperamental;can be described as terribly irrational
first child: addicted to anything and everything; can't be in one place for too long; has a rather significant identity crisis problem;omg, lets not even continue on....im sure we all dont have all day to delve into the many issues that are habouring inside me
second child: has an even more significant identity crisis (looks indian/malay, is chinese, raised in australia, thinks she's jamaican); addicted to anything and everything; will never date a chinese boy; can be even more spiteful than first child;holds deep resentment towards mother for failing to recognise that she is already 18

why im not on prozac yet amazes me

xL

ps im broke and its only been 4 days since i got paid thanks alot small eyes...there went nearly 700 on material goods *boohoohoo* can we start eating at coffeeshops from now on?

we were brave like soldiers falling down under the pale moonlight

happy birthday short stuff :) wish i was there to down that veuve with you
but have fun getting ab-so-lute-ly wasted on your birthday
its the only day of the year where you can self-indulge like that and have no one to
apologize to :) love you lots woman - you've been a fantastic friend of all sorts


its friday tomorrow
yay
i dont know who the hell i was fooling when i said i was going to de-tox
im getting my period
the detox can wait till next week or something, or whenever aunt ruby decides to leave

i hate being a chick
i get temperatmental
i get emotional
i hate things
i love things
all at the same bloody time
do you know how confusing that is for me? let alone everyone else that crosses my path?

work is al-right
nothing to shout about, but nothing to whine about either
other than the fact that i was here till 10 on monday
*cries*
but i got paid
so everything does kinda sorta somehow evens out

im rather neutral at the moment, which makes for a boring blog
im going to bed this saturday night for those who would like to join me ;)
in a hardly non-kinky sense
its a new bar on asian heritage row

xL

the perfection of being messy

i need to detox now more than ever
it was a weekend of absolute indulgence
i definitely hit all 7 sins

gluttony: to the extremes that you wouldn't believe
friday night- a bottle of belvedere vodka, the kind where u dont taste the alcohol...the kind where the next thing you know, you're flat on the floor hee hee..thanks for the care small eyes :) i owe you one
saturday- stayed off the alco but indulged in so much food
sunday- bubbly buffet @ westin. omfg. its a buffet where you don't even have to get of your ass for the food. it comes to you. i can't express how fantastic that felt

greed: a sin of excess. most def.
sloth: lying in a pimped out bed with veuve rose.
wrath: i didn't believe i encountered hatred or anger. i was too drunk to do anything but love
envy: uh no.
pride: der. its me
lust: hell yes

i need to detox
im not going to drink or eat anything disgusting for the next few weeks
but then again....

i miss him
as much as i think i can be independent, the moment he comes back into my life..i go all gooey and soft
it's like he comes into my life with all these missing pieces that i had no idea i didnt have in the first place, pieces me up together again and just makes everything perfect
sigh
im such a chick sometimes, my insecurities always playing up
goddamned hormones i wanna take it like a man

its back to monday again
i just want to go back to last friday

xL

all the world's a stage

And all the men and women merely players
They have their exits and their entrances
And one man in his time plays many parts

i agree with shakesy
you go through so much in life-- your experiences, the pain, the tears, the smiles, the love...
how do you stay the same?
to me, it seems like an exciting prospect...of absorbing everything new, to mold yourself
im thrilled really knowing the huge capacity to be someone different, that you can be better than who you are now
it makes life seem less dull
evidently, it hugely depends on your own personal capacity of being open to change

blah

i cant be philisophical on a friday afternoon after 5 days off
and two bottles of wine last night
i feel like absolute shite
*whine*
and i cant blame anyone except for myself
*cries*
and the lights in the office are so bright that im so tempted to wear my sunglasses
but as it is, they question my mental stability...
so i better not :)

i need to sleep

oooo..
listen to scissor sister's ta-da!
and im reading agent provocateur's collection of erotic stories
which isn't at all dirty or internet-porn-ish
it does have class the cover is so sexy..black and pale pink with a satin bookmark
and it does speak for the woman "who is in control, who wants to be controlled or who just wants to lose control" :)
it's hardly the book you hide in shame amazon it first if u need to
first book is called confessions and the second is called secrets

im definitely hungover
i've jumped from shakespear to erotic stories
wargh

xL

loft tonight for those in kl as he is spinning

take off that mask and shake your ass for me

happy birthday rammers!!!! you're going to get old and wrinkly and paralysed from the waist down soon...so enjoy your years where you can walk, talk, eat and piss all by yourself ;P
love you lots my melayu ho chica!

tomorrow is monday
and i dont have to go to work
and the next day is tuesday
and i'll still be sleeping in
and the day after is wednesday
and ill be wondering what to do after lunch
oh the sweetness of being in a multi cultural country
ill be happy to get along with any race as long as they keep them holidays coming :)

small eyes and i berjogeted in velvet last night
that was our weekly dose of exercise
and after that, we progressed on to petaling st. to stuff our faces with pork and noodles
and we are now stuffing our faces with fried rice
why we aren't obese with diabetes and high cholesterol problems yet is beyond me

xL

and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

omg
ive been so freaking busy i havent even blogged
im blogging.....from home
*stone*
i dont think i even need to elaborate the fact that i only blog at work to pass time
and now i cant blog cos i have no time to pass
*stone*

im so glad i have 5 days off from tomorrow onwards
i literally get to switch off and not really give a damn

had the worse meeting ever today
mr. client-who's-ego-is-so-huge-its-actually-taken-over-the-space-in-his-head-for-his-brain decided to go mental at us today
he actually pointed his finger at me
which i was tempted to bite it off :)

and he had the animosity to say "why do you need to know the mechanics of how these things work? aren't you just the art people?"
*stone*

and cos one of his suppliers couldnt open a file that we sent to him, due to the supplier being stupidly ignorant and not telling us his old school pc couldnt open certain files
mr. client-who's-ego-is-so-huge-its-actually-taken-over-the-space-in-his-head-for-his-brain actually spat out "for their educational purposes....they" *eyeing me* "need to realise that 99% of the rest of the world doesn't use a mac..they use pc-s"
AS IF WE DIDN'T KNOW
motherfuckingignorantasshole

wahlan
i had to bite my tongue so seriously hard that if i bit any harder it would have fallen off

*exhale*

anyways
small eyes and i went on an eating marathon last weekend till i think there was food coming out of our eyeballs and we made a mutual promise not to see each other till the next weekend...
which is tomorrow
hi small eyes!
it all started off from a binge session at food foundry, progressing to 7ate9 where we drank okay, i lie...i drank...and lala drank...small eyes stayed happily sober
which was followed by roti babi the next day, delicious at night, viet for lunch the next day with pancakes for tea
can you say bloated?
we are a serious bad influence on each other but i wouldnt have it any other way :)

***************
for some reason, according to history, there are seasons to different things
like the weather...well in kl, its just hot & dry or hot & rainy
so there is a season for breaking up and going into absolutely vicious fights with your significant other........
like now :)

to the two who are coming to grips with being single again...
just a few thoughts:
1. you're two very strong women
2. you were fine before them and you'll be fine after them
3. i never liked those boys anyway ;)
4. karma is a bitch
5. irregardless of whichever boy you allow to hold your hand, you'll always have us girls to be behind you to catch you when you fall
i love u both muchos

to my melayus....happy raya although i doubt you paid any recognition to the fact that it was the ramadan season and actually puasa-ed but whatever
and i wish u were here so i could bum at your open houses :)
but no, seriously...happy raya

xL

ps: cambodia is still on from the 1st of feb till the 5th of feb to any takers. small eyes and i have already recruited shorty :P

skategirl L & a posse of subservient gangsta thugs

thats right

im very aware that i dont skateboard
im also very aware of my skin colour and the fact that ill never be ghetto or have it gangsta style
i dont care
if justin could move so smoothly into the realm of pharrell, snoop dogg and jay z
i believe a chigga like me could do it too :)
i told you i lost the plot hapsap

its friday :)
rosebud is off tomorrow afternoon for 5 days
which will leave the house in a zen like state with no sudden shrills or stuff being thrown from her little 'balcony' onto unsuspecting me in the living room

i finished reading 'eatpraylove' by elizabeth gilbert earlier this year
and its one of the best books ive read so far this year
it was just so beautifully told and it spoke to me
we clicked so well together, the book and i :)
she's a travel writer and its about her journey after her marriage ends to find herself and how she finds love in food, meditation and at the end of it, finds peace in herself sigh
for those who read, read it
for those non-readers, convert yourself

by the way, im over my chick lit binge that has been going on for about a good 5 years now
it was hard to part, my girls and i, but i had to cut them loose as they tying me down
i mean, their monotonous cycle of heartbreak-depression-revenge-and at the end, realising that 'the one' was under their noses the whole time got kinda boring
im onto travel and biographies now...not that you guys care la, i thought i'd just share
and it is my blog so i can crap on as much as i like about things i like and that no one else cares for and it wont bother me one bit :)

got a small revelation from my australian counterpart yesterday
about a friend who has gone MIA
i guess its time to realise that things like this happen although ive always like to believe that all of us will be BFF's and all that jazz that comes with it :) im still awaiting for the day we're being pushed around in wheelchairs with oxygen tanks trailing along
although i dont know how personally, i could just dismiss the people ive been friends with since forever started but im sure she has her own story to tell which i am eagerly anticipating and until then there's not much you can do but let it go and see if she does come around
if not, then whats to do?
chapters open and close all the time

x (skategirl) L

this whole skategirl thing came up due to my newfound love of pharrell's new album
he just rocks my socks off

curiosity killed the men

i got my name card
rosebud now believes that im legitimately employed
she was even quite hesitant about my pay...i think thoughts of prostitution and drug money did go through her head but she had no qualms about accepting the money that i *owed* her -_-
although i try to believe that she is happy about my employment i know she struggles to comprehend why anyone would want to hire me in the first place
bottom line : no faith in her first born

but thats okay
ill let that go
at least she leaves me in peace whilst jet setting all over the world

met up with the lala last night
not sure if small eyes and i just turn off after work, but goddammit, she was talking fast and the faster she talked, somehow, the angrier she got....i dont know how that happens
but it was nice to see her yesterday after so long....no, im not trying to comfort myself
and i cant wait till i see the rest of you too

spanks hapsap for calling it was nice to finally talk to you :) you better get your ass back soon, your government is has actually resorted to naming your men....the....mat cemerlangs....we cant hack it no more....come back and put an end to this insanity

i guess its the times we all actually have together that allow me to get through the times that we are apart *sniff*
mentioning that, sometimes i feel like time does stand still for us....its like we can be all over the place and when we finally come back to homeground, we can pick up where we left off
which honestly, is one of the best feelings in the world :)

okay, cant be too emo for a wednesday halfway through the wweeeeeekk!

shorty, you and me at pregos for unlimited veuve...they're chilling it as we speak

xL

when the shit hits the fan, at least you can say "motherfuckers, is that all you have?"

i want to curl up in my bed and listen to emo songs all day long.
and i want proper emo songs
i want to revisit the late 90s and have verve pipe drone on with freshmen mixed in with a little placebo and a good dose of alanis. although i do appreciate james blunt and damien rice as their predecessors. they do a great job of making me feel like absolute crap too.
omg. talk about inviting in the drama la.

its just that sometimes, everything just gets too overwhelming and all you want to do is go back to the basics.
those raw feelings.
everything else needs to just wash away for a little while whilst you indulge yourself. to sulk to cry to scream to shout. and at the end of it all just think, 'fuck that feels good'.
i guess sometimes there's just too much on your plate cos you keep on adding stuff on and it piles up higher and higher. and that one day, you just fucking need to throw it against the wall and watch it all fall to the ground
and then stomp on it all with wellington boots :)

i know, i seem pretty much wired at the moment
and yeah, i think i am and the haze situation is not helping either
i cant wait for the 5 day holiday
im going to go away to switch off and shut down

and quite frankly anyone who is happy... please just leave me alone now before i rip the rainbows and fairies that are flying out or your ass. omg, i'll have the time of my life with lala..mwhhahahhaah

xL

thank you, but ill justify it to myself first

alot of ppl have recently asked me "why did you move back to kl ar?"
and at an earlier point in time, i thought i had the answer, well i had a range of answers.
from food to the lifestyle to the climate to bumming without bills to friends to independence
and i know that it was a justfication more than an answer
something i created in my own little head, wanting not to be judged

and to be honest, why would anyone want to leave melbourne?
i was literally surrounded by ppl i loved, i could have possibly got a job if i tried hard enough i applied to 3 companies :), he was there, my little bear was there, shopping just kicked ass, work actually ends at 5!, the lifestyle was perfect, there's no haze, there's no rosebud.

what the fuck is wrong with me?

then i went to spain promising everyone that i would be back
then i tasted what it's like not having a perfect routine to abide by, not having it easy and not needing it all. you can be content with alot less. you can be happy without everything you ever relied on.

of course it was bloody tough. i cried when i was lonely, i cried when i had no clue what was going on, i cried when i was confused, i wanted to give up, i wanted to return to my little world, and yeah, it sucked celebrating your 22nd with these new people i only let into my life two weeks prior.

but at the end of it all, i realised its okay to be lost and insecure and lonely and to miss my comforts and to be so alone where no one actually spoke your language and understood your version of normality. and its okay to meet new people, understand their ideals and beliefs and being open with your own.

and once i shed all that insecurity and became that little braver, i had the time of my life.

and i guess it was then i realised that melbourne held too much for me to lean on. what started off as my wants, then became my needs. and that became toxic. i learnt that i could finally stand on my own. and that if i returned, my learning experience would have been a waste of time if i didnt grow from it.

so in that sense, thats why im back in kl. although it holds all my comforts, it challenges me too. my work is crazy, the long working hours, my pay is hardly to brag about, the clients have no mercy and driving here is stressful in its own right. and being away from them is a challenge in its own as well.

along with that, i've allowed myself to grow. im less judgmental here, also due to who i hang out with...and with that, at the end of the day, you become a less hateful person. you're able to differentiate between whats trivial and whats important. you start letting things go and appreciating the good in someone rather than focusing on the bad.

maybe you dont agree with me, maybe you still think im highly hypocritical and cynical
and thats fine too, because im gonna let that go.
you can have your opinions as long as you let me have mine

btw this post isnt supposed to have a point or to even make a point. its my own catharsis, its a great feeling when you let everything go without that fear

xL

i've never wanted something rational

total cravings for a tattoo
stupid dayve decided to go and get one which looks amazing btw, so much better than the first initial drawing. it looks different and it's original. well done dayvey. the 4 hours of pain had to be worth it :)
so im going to get one done by the end of the month
i just wanna skip the whole designing process and go straight to the needle already
ooooo the pain....so sweet....and it's been so long since the last one.
i owe myself another one *whee hee hee*

the weekend was great. saw the 3 most necessary weekend ppl. went to the wedding, which was a little extravagant bride paid the upmost attention to detail to everything! they customized the matchboxes and even customized m&m's with their names on it *awww*
but even though we were counting down the hours till it ended, it did manage to show and encompass their love which,when you think about it, is pretty hard with a chinese wedding. forever yam the singing all.
and i suppose the non stop wine did help
which progressed on to non stop whisky and vodka at 7ate9 which is aesthetically a gorgeous place --- white and blue motive with huge white couches and high bar chairs that look like it has these little massage things attached to it..just a little...stuffy..with only two toilets for the women
*stone*
talk about not doing market research dude

other than that, week is passing pretty freaking fast. its already the end of tuesday.
lala is coming soon :) i actually miss her eventhough she freaks me out *fullstop* i wont even say why because people already know the effects of lala on a long term basis

i can't wait till shorty and rammers come back for good...you are still coming back right?... kl will rock just that little bit more with a constant drinking buddy and a couch nazi who will just rule the media world :)

xL

you didnt think id show up with my army, this ammunition on my back

this week took hectic to another level.
like meeting after brief after talking after shouting.
i've driven to the client's office enough times to drive there in my sleep.

and all this just exhausted me and left me feeling so freaking dead inside.
its the white light i swear and suicidal kl drivers
and just when i thought that i would collapse due to fed-upness, not eating right and just plain exhaustion from everything...

i got a call

my dress/es (the guy that owns the store was so nice and brought in 4 different colours for me to choose from :) and no, its not cos he wants to get in my pants...he bats for the other team ) have come in :)
i know, so shallow, so materialistic.

but it couldn't have come at a better time and thats what made me happy.
i have a wedding to go to this weekend and i was totally stressing about what to freaking wear.
already i dont have time even to figure out what i wear on a daily basis,
i sure as hell didn't have the time to run from shop to shop to find something for a wedding

so now i have something to wear yay!
and its going to be a rockin' weekend cos i have free time, get to spend time with the chachi/small eyes/davey-poo without rushing and go to a wedding with lots of booze involved

i couldn't think of anything better

bring on more weekends

xL