sweet you rock and sweet you roll

they say karma is a bitch
and hell yes, she is swinging her bat at me hard this time
and now here i am hanging my dirty laundry out
something that i promised myself that i would never do

i know you dont want to talk to me
i know that ive fucked up badly
i know that you're always going to look at me as the one to blame
and ill accept that ive had my share of wrongdoings
but god damn, it still takes two hands to clap in this situation
and you think that i have broken you?
im sitting here, at my desk at 11.30am, about to cry
and i would have never allowed that to happen before
but here i am, all decked out to go in for a presentation
and i cant think about anything else but how this is playing out
you ask me why i always placed you at arms length?
this is why - this is exactly why...so ill never have to crash like this
and here i am crashing like a ton of bricks

so now that it has come to this
where you dont even want to talk to me
where everything you have ever said doesnt seem to matter
because it doesnt hold any strength to your claim
i cant even talk to you because your finger will always be pointing at me
and there are only so many times i can say im sorry
and only so many justifications to be made
before it falls on deaf ears
you hear me tell you that nothing is going on here
and really, nothing is going on here
but somewhere along the line, trust slipped out
and doesnt even think our relationship is worth coming back to

so lo and behold the beginning of the end
id like to try to savour something from this 7 years
but you're not making it easy for me to do so
so now your wish is granted
for us to part where you will walk away blaming me
and ill finally just walk away
because according to you, thats what i do best

you asked for transparency, well here it is, in all her blazing glory
and in my emotional instability
where i make the best of my decisions
im off to london in january
because thats another one of my better traits isnt it?
running away
ive always said that im good at some things and bad at some
so i might as well embrace what im good at at

by the way, if there is anything here you don't understand
please use a dictionary or call someone
but please don't ask any of your friends
as they all seem to be unable to use their brain
to grasp any concept that goes beyond playing someone else's music

xL