plan B: twisting my way out; take back your ball and chain

ive realised that its been awhile since ive gone freefall
and i want to do that again

"dance like nobody's watching
love like you've never been hurt
sing like nobody's listening
live like it's heaven on earth" says mark twain

and the bloody saddest thing ever
is that the only times i feel alive is with them and not with you
and i finally understand why i never wanted to settle
why i always rejected the comfortable
so i dont have to feel dead like this
as if im just slowly cruising from day to day, month to month
with no firm plans, therefore no direction
and okay, if ive made the wrong turn
then ive got plan B
ive always had plan B, because with you, you need a plan B
and plan B isn't as sweet, but it will do...for the meantime

at 23, all i want to do is run the streets of different cities
and feel invincible
and dance as if i was born with rhythm
but maybe never sing, cos i know better
and love as if that love will never hurt or betray me
to love, like that love will love me back for all im worth
and it will be okay to wake up in a 3 euro a night hostel
and not have proper meals
and hitch rides into the most remote regions
and run off by myself, to think, to learn and explore
and finally learn to love myself the way i was always supposed to

and okay, maybe you think, at 23
and i thank god im conflicting at 23, rather than 33
we're supposed to know already
we're supposed to have it all set out in our minds
our freaking 5 year plan
and maybe im damn wrong for having a plan B
maybe plan A was the right plan, the best plan

we'll see then huh

"Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People...they don't write anymore - they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English" - says hank, californication

L with no fucking xox