REALLY? IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE FOR ME?

note this
so when it rains, it seems to goddamn pour
and when you think that its all done and accounted for
when you think it cant rain any harder
when you look up and start screaming "is that all you have got for me?"
no
there is still a whole lot more shit, where the initial shit came from
and it manages to take you to new levels of low
especially the levels of low, where you have the power to say, okay, enough is enough
so here, enough is enough
i get to be angry

im sorry it took me so long to grasp this and figure it out
i should have done it sooner
but saying that, if i did, it would have been done because it was 'the thing to do'
so i didnt do 'the thing to do', i gave myself time to sort it out internally
to figure out what path was the best for me to walk down
with the intention to 'jaga hati'
i havent found the damn path, maybe because there isnt one
so im taking a shovel and paving it myself
and finally deciding that, im not confused, im not so so, im not hesitating
because i wanted damn clarity and here it all is

so plan A is fucked, scrap plan B cos its taking too long
in fact, fuck the plans la okay
cos they never go as planned and they rely on unreliable factors to guarantee its damn success
so scrap planning
im going to do something drastic
like how i did went i left australia to spain and never returned
yeah, along those lines
they said amsterdam is not a bad place

xL